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It can be a big decision to start online dating. Some people still see it as a service for losers who can’t meet people in real life. In reality, it’s a good option for busy, normal people. I know many people who have luck with it. I’ve done it and met some great men and some not so great men. Like real life, it offers good and bad options.
Online dating is a way to meet people you would never come across in your daily life. If you did come across them, you would probably walk by them on the street or stand behind them in line at the grocery store and never speak. Online, it’s possible to meet these people while wearing your flannel pajamas and ugly slippers. Single people are available for the emailing any time of day and it doesn’t matter if you are having a good hair day or not.
The most mainstream and popular dating site is Match.com. Millions of single men have posted themselves, hoping to meet you. There are so many people on the site that it can take weeks to wade through all of them when you first sign up. I live in a major city and within five miles of my apartment, there are approximately 500 single men in my age range.
If you’re kicking around signing up for match.com, the best thing to do (if available) is to get someone else’s login. By spending time on the site, you’ll be able to see if there are people there who interest you. You can get a feel for the site without making a monetary commitment.
If another person’s login is not available to you, you can still search through match.com without a login. The only limitation is that you will see only one photo and you’ll be cut off after viewing a few profiles. If you get cut off, clear the cache in your browser and the site should let you view more profiles.
After you’ve poked around the site and seen what the offerings are, you can give up on the idea, or go ahead and sign up. The only thing you have to lose by signing up is $50. It’s likely you’ll make this money back in free dinners anyway.
The You You Want Others to See
The first step after you sign up is posting your profile. This starts with pictures. It’s best to choose photos that show you in a range of situations. Not just the one of you in your best friend’s wedding wearing perfect makeup and with professionally done hair. You can post that photo, just be sure to post one reflecting what you look like every day. If you have recently cut your hair from butt length to chin length, choose the photo of the chin length hair. Show what you really look like.
The rest of the profile is all about how you answer the following profile questions:
This is the character limited, essay portion:
For fun My job My religion Favorite hot spots Favorite things Last read About me and what I’m looking for (you get many more characters for this one, it’s your chance to talk about whatever you would like)
These are the easy questions that you answer using a pre-determined list:
Your Age Town you live in Age range of men you are seeking Location of men you are seeking Relationships (Marital status) Do you have kids Do you want kids Ethnicity Body type Height Religion Do you smoke How often do you drink Hair color Eyes color Best Feature Any body art What Sports and exercise you like Exercise habit Daily diet Interests Education Occupation Income Languages you speak Politics Astrological Sign My Place (living situation) Pets I have Pets I like
You also will need to choose a headline. See what other women have chosen, then make yours unique and catchy. Your headline, photo, and the first couple lines of your “about me and what I’m looking for” response will be what show up when men do searches.
Once you finish writing your fabulous responses to all these questions, proofread everything. There are people out there, me being one of them, who will quickly dismiss a profile based on poor grammar or misspellings. Your profile is how you are representing yourself to the match.com community, you don’t want to look like a dummy.
When you are ready to post your profile, you’ll receive an email message telling you that it can take up to 72 hours for your profile to become available to the world. In reality, it’s more like 12-24 hours for your first posting. Get ready. Your inbox will soon be full of winks and emails to do what you please with.
Online dating can be entertaining and you may meet someone worthy of your affections. Have fun with it. Give it a shot. If you find it’s not for you, you can always cancel your membership.
5 Psychology-Backed Hacks That Train Your Brain to Be More Innovative
Whether you&rsquore a corporate real-estate agent or a marketing guru, innovative thinking is often what is needed to take your business to the next level. Unfortunately, it&rsquos all too easy to get stuck in a rut. If you&rsquore not careful, that stagnation can easily cause your business to flounder.
If you need help thinking creatively so you can achieve better results for your brand, the solution may come down to retraining your brain. By reshaping your thinking process, you&rsquoll be able to generate innovative ideas that make a real impact.
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Typically, sports psychologists’ activities fall into three major categories, each with its specific skills (Moran, 2012):
- Applied consultancy work, such as coaching, in which the sports psychologist engages with professional and amateur athletes (and coaches and parents) to help them:
- Enhance sporting performance
- Cope with the pressure of competition
- Recover from injuries
- Maintain exercise programs
The following coaching skills are crucial to be effective in an applied role, coaching individuals or teams of athletes:
- Counseling skills, such as active listening
- Ability to be nonjudgmental
- Detailed knowledge of psychology theory and techniques
- Ability to understand people’s responses
- Understanding and sensitivity
- Excellent verbal communication and interpersonal skills
- Patience, understanding, and the ability to motivate others
- Ability to work under pressure and cope with stressful situations
- Active interest in sports
- Flexibility to work with different clients across multiple settings
- Problem-solving and decision-making skills
- Commitment to ongoing professional development
- Methodological approach to work
- Good IT skills
How to Overcome Negative Thinking in Volleyball
It can be so easy to think negatively going into a game, during a game, or even after a game…
You may be scheduled to play against the team with the top outside in your conference, or you may have shanked two serve-receive passes in a row, or even missed the game point serve in a tiebreaker…
With situations like this, negative thoughts can appear quickly and easily, such as:
- “I hope she doesn’t hit it to me.”
- “I suck at serve-receive.”
- “I can’t believe I missed that serve, how could I let my team down?”
Like most athletes, volleyball players can talk themselves into victory or defeat.
I grew up with volleyball standout, Megan Hodge… After high school, Megan took her talents to Penn State, where her team won several National Championships and she earned countless awards and recognition…
However, some of those include multi-year NCAA Championship Most Outstanding Player, First-Team All-American, and Big Ten Player of the Year.
Megan continued in her success and went on to play professionally after college, earning numerous World Championship Medals, along with a Silver Medal in the 2012 Olympics.
We were crosstown rivals in high school and her dominance always made it a struggle to compete against. I was a fairly skilled player myself, but I would get nervous and anxious playing across the net from Megan.
Sophomore year, my team was down 0-2 going into the third set, in their house. I was also an outside and my setter at the time pulled me over as we walked onto the court for a line-up check.
She told me, “You hit just as hard as Megan. You can do this. Tell yourself you can score each attack.” While I don’t think my swing was as powerful as Megan’s, I knew I could score.
I continued to repeat those positive key phrases to myself through the rest of the match. My team ended up winning the next two sets and the 5th set, in which I was unstoppable.
Once the game had ended, my coach came up to me and said,
“You were on fire. I knew you were going to score each time you got set, and I think you did too. You were fist pumping in the air before you even landed.”
Having CONFIDENT thoughts going into a game and during a match can greatly impact your performance.
You want to write down a few positive words or phrases that resonate with you–ones you can steadily repeat before and during a match. Something like, “You got this,” “Next ball,” “You’re a great hitter,” or, “Reset.”
Also, practice using these positive words during practice time, so that on game day it comes more easily. As I mentioned earlier, you can talk yourself into victory or defeat.
What words are you going to use?
Boost Your Self-Confidence With Expert Mental Game Coaching!
Expert mental game coach Dr. Megan Melchiorre can help you overcome your volleyball mental game issues with personal coaching.
You can work with Dr. Megan Melchiorre herself in Orlando, Florida or via Skype, FaceTime, or telephone. Call us toll free at 888-742-7225 or contact us for more information about the different coaching programs we offer!
Dr. Megan Melchiorre is a mental game coach specializing in volleyball and is the newest member of the Peak Performance Team starting in office May, 2018. She competed collegiality in volleyball and coaches club volleyball teams.
The Mental Game of Volleyball Feedback
We’d appreciate if you tell us about the mental game challenges you and your volleyball players face and how we can help you improve your mental game in volleyball.
Below is a link to a short survey. It should take only one minute of your time. (Of course, the survey is anonymous.)
This survey will give us the input we need to bring you the most relevant and practical information about how to improve your mental toughness in volleyball.
Please take one minute to complete this survey. In return, you can download a free bonus to improve serve receive mental preparation:
Match day mythology
As you prepare for internship match day, be sure to know fact from folklore.
Think you can boost your chance of securing an internship on match day if you apply to more sites than anyone you know? Not likely, say match experts. You're more apt to match if you follow the Association of Psychology Postdoctoral and Internship Centers' advice and apply to 11 to 15 sites that fit your skills and career goals. Students who apply mass-mail style don't take the time to research sites that complement their training goals, personality styles and other fit-factors, which is the real secret to increasing your match chances, says former APPIC Chair Steve McCutcheon, PhD.
"When you apply to programs that aren't a good fit, it's noticeable to the training director and makes it less likely you'll match there," he says.
Here are five more common myths about the match:
Myth: Applying online—new this year—will cost more.
Truth: APPIC's new e-application system will cost most students less than applying by mail. Students spend an average of $218 on mailed applications—costs that include postage, printing and transcripts. With the new electronic system, students will pay $35 for the first application and $10 for each additional application, which adds up to $175 for 15 applications, the maximum APPIC recommends.
Myth: 'A' students have an advantage.
Truth: Not always. Each year, outstanding students end up unmatched because their strong clinical and research skills didn't translate into writing good applications or interviewing well, according to Greg Keilin, PhD, APPIC's match coordinator. "These are very different skills, and students need to realize that." In recent years, APPIC has encouraged faculty to teach interviewing skills and application-writing skills. "Students also really need to have their applications reviewed by faculty," Keilin adds.
Myth: The match computer system aims to maximize the number of matches, not to give each person the best match.
Truth: In fact, the match algorithm does try to give you your top choice and moves down to your second choice if your first choice didn't rank you. This myth prompts some students to reduce the number of sites they rank, thinking the computer will match them if they rank a single internship site. On the contrary, students who do that hurt their chances by eliminating sites they might have matched with or betting on a single site choosing them, says Keilin.
Myth: More practicum makes perfect.
Truth: While many students believe the more practicum hours they have, the better candidate they are, APPIC survey data show that practicum hours take a backseat to interviewing skills and research interests. "Hours get you in the door, but what impresses training directors beyond that point is a well-rounded background and students who are able to demonstrate an interest and ability in a range of competencies," says McCutcheon. Once you meet the minimum requirement—400 hours for most sites—additional practicum hours don't make you a more attractive candidate, he says.
Myth: I can stay in my hometown if I want.
Truth: It's never wise to limit yourself geographically and expect to match, says McCutcheon. Students who use this strategy invariably apply to programs that aren't a good fit for their strengths and skills, which means it's unlikely they'll match with any of those sites. "You are applying to programs because they are nearby, not because they are the 10 best programs for you."
According to the 2008 APPIC Applicant Survey, the match rate dropped 13 percent for respondents who limited their site choices geographically due to family, financial or health reasons. A better idea: Cast a wide net and be willing to move to that perfect site not so near you.
By Jamie Chamberlin
For more information on preparing for the internship match, visit the APPIC Web site and "Match mysteries solved" online.
10 Tips to Improve Communication in Your Relationship
Being able to effectively communicate with your loved one is the foundation of any relationship. The nature of any relationship is no more prominent than the ability to having meaningful and thoughtful conversations. Expanding the dynamics of how we converse may be the most ideal approach to improving within your relationship.
Tragically, the ability to effectively communicate with others is not something that is always taught to us. Most tend to learn these skills over time, trial-and-error, or by accident. On the off chance that you have never attempted to expand the way you communicate with your partner, the skills that you may possess, most likely has room to improve.
Here are some tips on some of the vital components to improving your communication skills:
Focus on the sentiments behind the words, rather than the individual who is saying those words
Analyze your partners mannerism and tone with what is being said. It is significantly more pleasant when somebody says, “It saddens me when you don’t hear me out” rather than calling out your partner for not being thoughtful and considerate when talking with you. When you emotionally flood the other individual, they will naturally become guarded. At the point when individuals are more protective with their words, this may lead to more volatile conversations consequently. You want your focus to alter the understand of the behavior associated with those words, as this is an aspect that can be modified and more productive than attempting to change who your partner is, which cannot be done.
Timing is everything
In the event that your loved one returns home from work and appears to have had a rough day, it probably will not be the greatest opportunity to share your struggles or challenges that occurred during your day. Pick when everybody is quiet and there are not many interruptions.
Ensure you are providing and focused and confident message
It is unjustifiable and ineffective to anticipate that your loved one must interpret and potentially guess at what you might be thinking. Be concise but inviting to be inviting in the conversation. Do not assume your contentment is dependent on any other individual, as you are the only person who holds that responsibility to make yourself happy. On the off chance that something is annoying you, make the effort to communicate your challenges with your loved one.
Be an Active Listener
It is not just about expressing what is on your mind. You additionally have an obligation to tune into your conversations. We cannot be listening if we are in our heads thinking about how we are going to respond. This will allow for key information to be presented to you that may be valuable into gaining some different knowledge about a topic to help improve some aspect of your life, whether you may know it at the time or not.
The Art of Finding the Middle Ground
Being able to find the middle ground in any conversation implies that both of you surrender something while being understanding of the other person’s feelings behind their words. All connections require this important aspect as it helps to build a more empathic relationship.
Think about the Conversation from Your Partner’s Perspective
We touched on empathy in the last section, which ties into our abilities to conceptualize the feelings of others. Attempt to take a moment and step back to look at the conversation from your partner’s perspective. This may potentially pave a different road map to your conversation with your loved one.
Converse in a Safe Space
Be responsive to the worries of your loved one. At the point when you may respond less than advantageously, your partner may be less inclined to convey whenever other opportunities present themselves. Establish a culture within your home that provides open channels of sharing without consequences. Express gratitude when those open channels and empathic conversations are being presented within your home.
Prevent Surrendering Just to Maintain Harmony
While that arrangement works for the time being, your emotions about the topic may not necessarily change. The issue may remain present which can lead to a slippery path to bitterness. We must consider our own feelings as well as being open to understanding your partners. Staying away from uncomfortable conversations will not mend the difficulty, rather postpone it for a later moment, with the added resentment towards the topic over that time built on to it.
Properly Cope with Past Missteps
We are human. We are flawed individuals. Continuing to revisit the past keeps yourself in the past and slows down your ability as a couple to grow towards your future journey together. Take focus to the here and now in your relationship, we cannot change the past, and we do not know where the future will take us. Enjoy the moment for what it is and be mindful of how beautiful the present moment is.
Assuming is Something We Need to Reduce
In relationships, we come across various situations where conversing with our partner may be a struggle and may be presented in a vague manner. Utilize your new skills acquired from the above sections to help achieve clarity during these times to eliminate the guessing game. This will allow you to comprehend the circumstance prior to moving forward with the conversation. It may very well be a straightforward misinterpretation. Assuming something that may be different from what was intended sets up for a detour towards another misunderstanding.
Compelling and kind words in your conversations with your love is essential for all couples. The ability to navigate a conversation is something that can define an overall partnership. Stay focused on creating an open culture within your home to allow for understanding all sides of a conversation. Staying away from addressing difficult situations and conversations will only add them to your plate later down the road. Be Assertive. Be Kind. Be Understanding. Be Open. Take charge of relationship by helping build a solid foundation on the way you communicate within your home, as this will benefit all for years to come.
Nicole O’Hare, MS, LPC, CMHIMP is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Mental Health Integrative Medicine Provider at A Beautiful Soul Holistic Counseling in Chandler, AZ along with completing Level 3 training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, which allows her to provide tools on helping couples communicate effectively and transform their relationship, which offering a more holistic and integrative approach to achieve optimal health and wellness while preventing common mental health problems. You can find her on: Instagram | Facebook | Twitter