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Are woman more Judging than men in the MBTI?

Are woman more Judging than men in the MBTI?


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Since I lack of academic formation please be tolerant if I write something not correct.

As you know the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test is based on 4 personality dimensions (E/I, S/N, T/F, J/P) each of which can assume two possible values (I think the name is trait) for a total of 16 clusters. link

There are gender differences with regard to a number of psychological variables (see for example gender roles and wikipedia Sex differences in human psychology). These differences may be due to education, culture, hormonal difference and so on.

According to the stereotype, many women are more judging than men.

Does any empirical evidence show that the prevalence of Judging is higher in women compared to men?


The MBTI is widely used in applied contexts, such as for personnel selection. Nevertheless, it is hardly used in scientific research on personality because its theoretical basis questionable, because its validity is limited, and because its reliability is inferior to other established measures of personality (for a starting point to criticisms of the MBTI see McCrea & Costa, 1989 and this earlier post). For these reasons it is unlikely that you will find reliable data on gender differences in the MBTI.

However, it has been shown that the MBTI traits overlap with those of the Big Five (the most widely adopted model of personality) and gender differences with regard to the Big Five have been studied extensively.

The MBTI Judging dimension and its Perceiving counterpart overlap to a large extent with the Big Five trait conscientiousness (e.g., Furnham, 1996, McCrea & Costa, 1989). This is not surprising if you look at how Judging vs. Perceiving and conscientiousness are measured:

Judging vs. Perceiving is measured by having people choose between sentence pairs such as

  • "I like to have things decided." vs. "I like to stay open to respond to whatever happens."
  • "I like to make lists of things to do." vs. "I appear to be loose and casual. I like to keep plans to a minimum."
  • "I like to get my work done before playing." vs. "I like to approach work as play or mix work and play."
  • "I plan work to avoid rushing just before a deadline." vs. "I am stimulated by an approaching deadline."

Conscientiousness is measured by items such as

  • "I get chores done right away."
  • "I carry out my plans."
  • "I stick to my chosen path."

Thus, there appears to be a clear semantic overlap between the two constructs.

Are there gender differences with regard to conscientiousness? According to a large scale meta analysis (with data from more than 23.000 participants from 26 nations, Costa et al. 2001), 1. there are far more personality differences within the genders than between genders 2. for conscientiousness there doesn't seem to be a detectable gender difference.

References

Costa Jr., P., Terracciano, A., & McCrae, R. R. (2001). Gender differences in personality traits across cultures: Robust and surprising findings. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 81, 322-331. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.81.2.322

Furnham, A. (1996). The big five versus the big four: the relationship between the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and NEO-PI five factor model of personality. Personality and Individual Differences, 21, 303-307. doi:10.1016/0191-8869(96)00033-5

McCrae, R. R., & Costa, P. T. (1989). Reinterpreting the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator From the Perspective of the Five-Factor Model of Personality. Journal of Personality, 57, 17-40. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6494.1989.tb00759.x


According to the following document there is a prevalence of the Judging trait most of women seems to be Judging.

the stereotype that females prefer routines, plans and outlines is largely justified; the majority fall into the judging category. It may come as a surprise, however, that the majority of boys (about 52-58 percent) are judging types as well.

http://schreibendepot.wordpress.com/2007/02/23/mbti-and-gender-a-personality-divide/

However a stronger difference, correlated to gender, from MBTI is about other traits (dimension?).

The following picture, taken from this article is interesting: http://www.statisticbrain.com/myers-briggs-statistics/


Here’s How You Respond to Grief, Based on Your Personality Type

ISTJ

ISTJs experiencing grief can get stuck in a “loop” of re-playing what went wrong and how they could have done things differently or better. They tend to blame themselves first when things go wrong, rather than looking outside themselves. They can have difficulty assessing their own emotions, sorting through how they feel, or taking the time to understand it. When their emotions do hit them, often completely out of the blue, they tend to feel powerless and out of control. This feeling of being out of control is unnerving for them, even terrifying sometimes, especially because ISTJs are such strong believers in controlling their impulses and emotions. On the outside, they tend to present a calm face even if inside they are experiencing deep inner turmoil. They try to step back and apply detached logic to the situation, sometimes even choosing to “cut loose” and move on from their grief as quickly as possible, but this can result in repressed emotions, anger, and despair that “bubbles up” later.

In cases of chronic despair or stress, ISTJs can get stuck in a phase of “catastrophizing”. They may see nothing but negative possibilities and things that could go wrong. They may try to brainstorm solutions, but see nothing that looks promising. You can find out more about this stage, and what helps them here.

ISFJ

ISFJs experiencing grief can get stuck in a cycle of replaying what went wrong and what they could have done differently or better. They tend to blame themselves before looking outward at the other effects and facts involved. They often get stuck dwelling on negative emotions as well as experiencing the pain of other people affected by whatever happened. They can find it very difficult to see beyond the immediate personal turmoil they are experiencing. They tend to be supportive and good listeners to other people who are also grieving. They will usually try to find practical ways to help or provide emotional support. Often they are helped by “venting” their emotions or getting support from a counselor or trusted friend. They are less likely than thinking types to avoid dealing with the emotions and only have them “bubble up” later.

In cases of chronic despair or stress, ISFJs can get stuck in a “catastrophizing” phase. In this phase they see nothing but what could go wrong, and they may fixate on brainstorming, only to find negative possibilities and outcomes for the future. You can find out more about this stage and what helps them here.

ESTJ

ESTJs experiencing grief try to present an active, competent face to the world. They don’t want the world to know what they are feeling and it can be easy for others to miss signs of their distress. It is common for them to look outwards to find blame before looking inwards and if confronted during a particularly stressful time, they may seem bitter or irritated by it rather than encouraged. They’ll try to apply detached logic to the situation, take charge of things, or else move on completely and quickly.

ESTJs tend to struggle with accessing their own emotions when they are grieving. They may try to “stay busy” and fix things and take care of practical matters rather than resolve their own emotions. This can cause emotions to show up later in unhealthy or out-of-control ways. They can also become impatient or uncomfortable with other people experiencing grief in a more emotional way. This forces them to look their own despair in the face. When they do experience their own emotions, they tend to feel out-of-control and powerless.

in cases of chronic despair or stress, ESTJs can get stuck feeling that everyone is against them or that they are without support. They feel like they have to be “the responsible one” or “the calm one” and this can make them resentful of others or depressed. You can find out more about this stage and what helps them here.

ESFJ

ESFJs experiencing grief tend to try to appear active and competent, regardless of how much pain they are feeling inside. This may cause others to underestimate their distress. They may become fixated on “fixing” things, cleaning house, taking meals to people, and solving practical matters. They may assume that their loved ones should just know how they feel without having to explicitly state how they feel. This can cause frustration if they don’t get the comfort and empathy that they need from people. It can be difficult for them to say, “I need to talk right now”, or “I am feeling sad, can we sit together”.

Once support is given by someone, they will usually seek support more freely and express their emotions readily. They are also good at helping other people express their emotions, providing a listening ear and affection to those who are struggling. They are very in tune with the emotional experiences of others, so this can cause them to get “stuck” not only in their own grief, but the grief others are experiencing. They may overdo being supportive, and feel overbearing to types who prefer more space and independence.

In cases of chronic of despair or stress, ESFJs can get stuck in a “criticizer” mode. They may become excessively self-critical, finding fault with everything they do. They may see nothing but flaws, mostly in themselves, but also in others. They may search endlessly for a logical “fix” for their despair. They usually experience very low self-esteem at this time. You can find out more about this stage, and what helps them here.

ISTP

ISTPs experiencing grief tend to appear one of two ways: Either they are extremely reserved and stoic, keeping to themselves and trying to “move on” from the problem as quickly as possible, or they do the opposite and become uncharacteristically emotional and angry. Some ISTPs fluctuate between the two extremes. They are usually not anxious to seek people out to talk things over. They usually look inwards and tend to blame themselves before placing blame on others.

ISTPs are good at stepping back and applying detached logic to whatever situation is causing them grief. They can problem-solve and find practical solutions to try to prevent the same situation repeating itself. But they can struggle with accessing their own emotions, giving themselves time to grieve, and in turn, become overwhelmed by their unprocessed emotions.

ISTPs who are experiencing chronic despair or stress tend to become uncharacteristically emotional. They are likely to have angry outbursts or lose their characteristic level-headed, logical nature. This is very upsetting for them because it’s so unnatural to how they normally behave. You can find out more about this stage and what helps them here.

ISFP

ISFPs experiencing grief tend to feel emotionally exhausted and trapped. Some feel intense emotions and anger and show it, while others do the exact opposite and hide everything they are feeling from others. They tend to look inside first to try to figure out what they could have done wrong or if there was any moral failure on their part. They aren’t quick to cast blame on outside sources. Many ISFPs feel a loss of energy and a feeling of burnout and depersonalization. They can get stuck sleeping a lot or watching a lot of TV to try to preserve their energy or decrease their stress levels. They won’t usually open up emotionally to someone unless a great deal of trust has already been established. It is helpful for them to have plenty of time to process their emotions.

ISFPs who are experiencing chronic despair or stress can become uncharacteristically critical and sarcastic. They may become obsessed with fixing problems or “righting” wrongs, or they may turn their criticism inwards and evaluate all the ways they believe they have failed. You can find out more about this stage and get tips for overcoming it here.

ESTP

ESTPs experiencing grief tend to appear calm, practical, and in control. It can be difficult for other people to identify the turmoil they are feeling inside, and it can be hard for them to even take time to process it. ESTPs are the kind of people who are strong believers in “picking themselves up by their bootstraps” and moving on, so adequately processing emotions isn’t something they give priority to. They tend to avoid asking for help if they need it, and may experience sudden bursts of emotion or anger that are confusing to them because they spend so little time introspecting about their own feelings.

If despair or stress is chronic, ESTPs may fall into a state of “doom and gloom”. They may see only one negative possibility for the future and lose their signature optimism and resourcefulness. Everything can seem bleak and ominous when they are in this stage. You can find out more about this stage and get tips for overcoming it here.

ESFP

ESFPs tend to look outside of themselves first when they experience grief. They will try to figure out where the problem started, where the blame lies, and what the facts were. Then they will introspect to see how they feel about what’s going on and process their emotions. After a brief respite of solitude they usually want to find someone to talk to and confide in. They benefit tremendously from expressing their emotions to someone else and seeking support. According to the MBTI® Manual, ESFPs are one of the most likely types to “get angry and show it” during times of high stress. They can get stuck in negative emotions or find it difficult to see beyond the immediate turmoil they are experiencing.

One of the positive qualities of ESFPs is that they are usually good at looking around and offering support to others who are also grieving. The more support they can find from their loved ones, and the more time they give themselves to process their emotions, the better.

If despair or stress is chronic, ESFPs may fall into a state of disillusionment. During these stages, they tend to feel that the future holds nothing but one negative scenario, and they can lose their signature optimism and resourcefulness. You can find out more about this stage and get tips for overcoming it here.

INTJ

When experiencing grief, INTJs tend to look inwards first. They often want to detach from the world and get away to process things on their own. They can have difficulty processing the emotions they are dealing with, and may find themselves trying to apply logic to the situation so they can move on. They often become impatient with themselves and overwhelmed if they aren’t given time or space. If they have to be around other people they will try to present a calm face. They usually don’t want other people to know about their emotional struggles and grief unless there is a considerable amount of trust built up. Some INTJs find themselves increasingly drawn to sleep or exercise as a way to deal with it.

If despair or stress is chronic, INTJs may fall into a state of indulgence or hyper-sensory awareness. They can become uncharacteristically obsessed with details or prone to binge-eating/drinking or over-exercising or anything sensory and impulsive. You can find out more about this phase, and how to help here.

INFJ

When INFJs experience grief, they will initially look inwards to try to process what happened privately. Unfortunately this means that they often blame themselves for things that might have been caused by an outer source. They will usually withdraw from people for a while, processing the emotions, trying to understand the implications of what happened and the meaning of it all. Over time they will seek support if they have a trusted confidante, but if there’s nobody they are especially close to they will usually keep quiet. They are concerned with how other people are handling grief as well, and will seek to support other people in their emotions. They can get stuck experiencing everyone else’s pain and lose sight of processing their own feelings. They can also overdo being supportive and forget to take care of themselves.

If despair or stress is chronic, INFJs may fall into a state of over-indulgence or hyper-sensory awareness. This takes on different forms for different INFJs. Some will over-eat, some drink too much, some exercise or clean excessively. The over-arching theme, however, is that they get stuck doing impulsive, indulgent activities or obsessing over details. You can find out more about this phase (and what helps) here.

ENTJ

When ENTJs experience grief, they tend to appear much calmer on the outside than they really feel inside. They try to present a composed, “in control” face to the world while inside the turmoil they feel is usually very overwhelming. To handle their suppressed feelings, they may try to problem-solve, take charge, or “fix” things in their outer world. They often try to apply logic to the situation and inevitably feel betrayed when this doesn’t work. They can become impatient with their own emotions and the emotions of people around them. They may suddenly find themselves crying or upset out of nowhere, and have difficulty even knowing why they’re crying because they’ve suppressed their emotions for so long.

If despair or stress is chronic, ENTJs may fall into an uncharacteristically emotional, introspective state. They can become very withdrawn from people and lose sight of their normal “in-charge, always logical” mindset. They may feel that everyone is against them or that nobody truly supports them. It’s important for loved ones to give them space, but to also use acts of service to prove that they care. When they are ready to talk, they need someone who can let them vent without judging them or trying to rationalize their feelings. You can find out more about this stage and get tips for overcoming it here.

ENFJ

When ENFJs experience grief, they can have a difficult time showing their true feelings to the world. They usually feel pressure to maintain a calm presence around people, especially others who are suffering. They may initially repress their emotions in order to tend to others who are grieving or in order to “fix” things that need fixing. Eventually, their own emotions bubble up to the surface and they find themselves seeking support. They are usually good at empathizing with other people who are grieving as well as finding support when they are ready to talk. It’s important for them not to take on the role of “supporter” too heavily and never get around to processing their own emotions. Many ENFJs report that exercising while they process their thoughts and emotions is helpful.

If despair or stress is chronic, ENFJs may fall into an uncharacteristically critical stage. They may appear more harsh, critical, and exacting than usual and may withdraw from people. They can get stuck analyzing what happened and finding ways to blame themselves for what went wrong. To find ways to help them in this phase, click here.

INTP

When INTPs experience grief they usually avoid showing it for a very long time. They will draw inward, seek privacy, and look inside themselves to discover what went wrong. They are prone to self-blame so it’s important for them to take time to look outside and realize the problem (or whatever happened) is much bigger than they could have controlled. They tend to feel increasing turmoil the more they suppress their emotions, but they persist in hiding them. Many INTPs report that they feel awkward asking for help or expressing how they feel. They may try to apply logic to the situation or “cut loose” and move on. While this isn’t always bad, it can cause their suppressed emotions to stay in the shadows only to “bubble up” later.

If they don’t deal with their emotions or find the support they need, they may suddenly reach a breaking point and become uncharacteristically emotional and angry. They tend to withdraw when they are in these phases because they feel out of control and unsure of themselves. You can find out more about this stage, and how to help someone experiencing it here.

INFP

When INFPs experience grief they will draw inward and want some time alone and privacy to sort through their emotions. Like all introverts, INFPs are prone to looking inward and blaming themselves first. It’s important for others to realize this and re-affirm that whatever happened was not their fault. Some INFPs are helped by writing down their emotions, others just need to soak in them for a while and allow them to come and go on their own. After some time alone, most INFPs will find a trusted friend or family member to talk to. They’ll want support, affirmation, and empathy during this time. They are also good at providing support to others who are struggling and grieving. Many INFPs report that talking to a counselor helps them.

If INFPs don’t deal with their emotions or find someone to talk to, they may let the stress and despair build up to a breaking point. When this happens they can become uncharacteristically harsh and critical with others. They may become sarcastic, cynical, and focused on righting wrongs. They may also become obsessed with organizing things or analyzing the situation logically. You can find out more about this stage, and how to help someone experiencing it here.

ENTP

ENTPs experiencing grief tend to initially conceal their feelings and put on a calm face around others. They often try to apply logic to the situation, but then feel resentful of their own logic when it fails to dissuade their sorrow. They usually need time alone and privacy to sort through what’s happening. They tend to rush the grieving process as quickly as possible – often too quickly. This can cause repressed emotions to “bubble up” to the surface unexpectedly at a later date. They may find themselves crying but have no idea why, or they may find themselves becoming edgier and easily angered than before. It’s important for friends to let them know that they are there if they want to talk, and to be aware that what is happening is very likely a result of unprocessed grief.

If ENTPs don’t find a means to deal with their grief or they experience ongoing stress, they may go through a phase of being uncharacteristically focused on details. They may feel that they have to tie up a bunch of loose ends, or they may develop “tunnel vision” and focus solely on nitty-gritty details and facts. They can also develop symptoms of hypochondria and worry about illnesses. You can find out more about this stage and how to help here.

ENFP

ENFPs tend to have one of two reactions to grief. Some ENFPs will want to just get away from everyone and everything and go somewhere new to process their feelings. Others will seek out the comfort and support of people they trust. They will not usually open up to people who aren’t especially close to them. They will try to understand the meaning of what happened. If there was a death involved, they may consider things like the afterlife, the meaning of life, how short life is, and other big-picture questions. While they seek support they will also want to give it to others who are grieving. They are good at listening to others and providing empathy and assistance. It’s important, however, that they not get stuck in the role of “supporter” for too long and forget to take care of their own needs. It’s also important that they give themselves time to process the emotions privately.

If ENFPs don’t find a means to deal with their grief, or if despair or stress is ongoing, they may go through a “grip stress” phase. When this happens, they become uncharacteristically focused on details and tying up loose ends. They can develop “tunnel vision” and obsess over a project that needs to be finished. Some ENFPs develop physical symptoms and when in a stress phase, can worry that their symptoms are the sign of a serious, life-threatening illness. You can find out more about this phase, and how to help, here.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Was this helpful? Is there anything you would add? Let us know in the comments!

If you’re looking for ways to help those who are grieving, check out the second part of this article here.

Find out more about your personality type in our eBook, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type.


Here’s How You Experience Time, Based On Your Personality Type

Did you know that each personality type experiences time in a slightly different way? Some types are more likely to revisit the past while others are more likely to stay tuned into the present or future. Knowing how each individual experiences and manages time can help you to avoid conflicts. Many times fights and arguments erupt because two people are using time in a different way or focusing on a different place in time. Read along to find out more!

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

ENFPs, ENTPs and Time

ENFPs and ENTPs use a mental process called Extraverted Intuition, or “Ne” for short. Extraverted intuitives have a very broad time focus. They are often stimulated by what’s happening in the present, but instead of thinking of immediate experiences and details they think of future potential. For example, they might see a forest and think “What would happen if the forest didn’t exist?”, or “What if I built a theme park full of treehouses that are all connected?”. ENPs look for connections in the past and future to generate possibilities and new innovations.

As perceiving types, ENFPs and ENTPs tend to be adaptable about time. They like to stay open to new changes, possibilities, and creative insights. They don’t like to hurry up with a project and get it done quickly they are more stimulated by the creative process than they are with closure and completion. Distractions, side-trails, and interruptions, therefore, aren’t as disruptive to them as they are to judging types.

As feeling types, ENFPs prefer to spend their time finding their purpose, meaning, or significance. Many ENFPs enjoy spending time on personal growth or understanding their own psychology or the psychological makeup of other people. Impersonal tasks and routine procedures are usually dull to them and they can find themselves looking for more meaningful distractions. This is why ENFPs are best suited for jobs that coincide with their personal values. They can be highly motivated, productive, and goal-oriented if they believe in what they’re doing on a personal level.

As thinking types, ENTPs see their time as part of a bigger system. They view it as a tool to accomplish things and they see it as less personal than the ENFP does. They look at how they can improve or re-work systems, how they can understand a concept more fully, or how they can innovate and bring about progress in the world. They can be interested in personal growth, but they can also be motivated about a project simply because they are curious about the experimentation itself. For the ENTP, the goal doesn’t need to align with a personal value for them. They are more motivated when they can experiment, innovate, and change things up to see what happens.

INFPs, INTPs and Time

INFPs and INTPs also use Extraverted Intuition (“Ne”). This means that they also have a broad time focus. They experience something in the present and generate future possibilities as well as past connections. They tend to “jump around” in time from present to past to future or in the opposite direction.

Unlike ENPs, INPs focus less on gathering outer-world information than they do on the inner world of analysis. They can appear very open-minded and adaptable to other people, but inside they often have a firm set of values or principles that they judge everything by. They tend to be more reflective and inwardly-decisive than ENP types tend to be. They filter all the possibilities they generate through a lens of “does this align with my values or challenge them?” (INFP), or “does this fit with my logical framework or challenge it?” (INTP).

As perceiving types, INFPs and INTPs tend to be adaptable and flexible with time. The process of analysis and idea-generation is usually more interesting to them than having closure or completion on a project. If something is especially interesting or meaningful, they don’t mind being interrupted or delaying a project they are currently working on. In fact, they are often excited by this prospect!

As feeling types, INFPs prefer to spend their time finding their purpose, meaning, or significance. They are often drawn to writing, psychology, or personal growth. Impersonal tasks and routine procedures are usually dull to them and they can find themselves looking for more meaningful distractions. This is why INFPs are best suited for jobs that coincide with their personal values. They can be highly motivated and productive if they believe that what they are doing is meaningful on a personal level.

As thinking types, INTPs see their time as part of a bigger system. They look at how they can improve or re-work systems, how they can understand a concept more deeply, or how they can innovate and bring about progress in the world. While personal growth may be a focus of theirs, they tend to be curious for curiosity’s sake. They want to experiment with causes and effects and find accuracy and truth more than subjective meaning or emotional depth. For the INTP, the goal doesn’t need to align with a personal value for them. They are more motivated when they can experiment, innovate, and find new logical truths.

INFJs, INTJs and Time

INFJs and INTJs use a mental process called Introverted Intuition, or “Ni” for short. This process gives them an intense focus on the distant future. INJs are nearly always focusing on broad, long-term effects and implications. Even in school when they write essays, many of their essays are projected into far-distant future realities. They make abstract leaps in time to envision how patterns and events will play out in 20-50-100 years or more. Sometimes they run the risk of spending so much time in the future that they lose track of what’s happening in the present moment.

Although INJs are categorized as judging types by the Myers-Briggs system, they actually tend to have a lot in common with perceiving types. This is because their dominant mental process is a perceiving function (intuition) rather than a judging function (thinking or feeling). In their outer world, they enjoy having closure and order. If they are in a situation where nobody can make a decision, they tend to feel a responsibility to decide and move forward. They tend to appear more decisive, structured and organized about time than they really feel. On the inside, they are actually less eager to come to closure on an idea and enjoy toying with many different perspectives and angles. Their inner world can handle a bit of chaos but they like their outer world more organized and focused. INTJs and INFJs both tend to be “work first, play later” types.

As feeling types, INFJs will tailor their time around the needs of people. They might spend three hours listening to someone’s troubles and interpersonal issues and not feel bad about it even if it means they have to cram to complete a project later. They are sensitive to other people and their time and believe that time is useful for finding their purpose, significance, and meaning. They tend to prioritize personal growth and will spend a lot of time figuring out their psychology or the psychology of other individuals. They can procrastinate about situations that require them to give criticism or handle conflict.

As thinking types, INTJs see time as conceptual and impersonal. They view it as a tool with which they can accomplish goals or reach a logical understanding of how the world works. They usually organize their time based on priorities and will be more frustrated if personal demands get in the way of their goals or visions. They tend to prioritize information-gathering and achievement and enjoy having a lot of time alone to contemplate and reflect. They can procrastinate about working on their relationships or inter-personal issues.

ENFJs, ENTJs and Time

ENFJs and ENTJs view time as a resource to be used. Because these two types use Introverted Intuition (“Ni”) as an auxiliary mental process they tend to focus on the distant future a great deal. However, as extraverts, they are more action-oriented about their time than INJ types tend to be. They think about how they can “use up” time, put it to its best possible use, and how they can arrange it to influence the future.

As judging types, ENJs like having an established schedule and they usually keep an eye on how much “free time” or “work time” they have. They like having closure, making decisions, and leaving things settled. Ambiguity can be difficult for them to live with – they want to know where they stand and how much time they need to complete a project or reach a goal. ENJs will have their eye on the clock more than perceiving types, or even IJ types, will. They tend to have to-do lists and they also desire control over their schedule. They are “work first, play later” types and they can procrastinate about making time for play or leisure.

As feeling types, ENFJs believe that time is to be used in service of personal or inter-personal goals. They tend to arrange their time around the needs and requirements of people. They can spend a great deal of time listening to someone’s struggles and not feel bad about it, even if it means they have to rush to get some of their other tasks done on time. They give people and personal needs the highest priority and are very sensitive to other people and their time. They believe time should be spent in finding life’s purpose or helping other people to find theirs. They tend to feel guilty saying no to the needs of other people and can neglect their own priorities.

As thinking types, ENTJs believe that time is impersonal and should be used as a way to reach goals and effect change. They are usually extremely productive with time and time-conscious. They hate “wasting” time although they may have spurts of “playing hard” after they’ve worked for a considerably long period. They see time as conceptual and also a tool. They may become so focused on achievement and goal-accomplishment that they bypass the needs of people or even their own physical needs in pursuit of their vision. ENTJs are one of the most time-conscious personality types.

ISFPs, ISTPs and Time

ISFPs and ISTPs are flexible and open-minded about how they use time. These two personality types use a mental process called Extraverted Sensing (Se). Because they use this process they are extremely attentive to what is happening in the present moment. Sensing-Perceiving (SP) personality types stay tuned into what’s happening “right now” and are usually the types that act the fastest in crisis situations. They are good at on-the-spot troubleshooting and improvising.

As perceiving types, ISFPs and ISTPs are flexible and adaptable. They attempt to make the best use of each moment they are in and don’t usually mind a scheduled change. They are good at seeing and meeting immediate needs and noticing current details that other types often miss. They like to stay open to change, new opportunities, and experiences. They can struggle with procrastination, especially when they have particularly repetitive or laborious tasks in front of them.

As feeling types, ISFPs are sensitive to people and their time. They believe time should be spent in search of their passion, their dream, or their purpose. They believe time is best spent in the service of their ideals or in the service of the people they care about. This is why many ISFPs have a creative side! They enjoy expressing their values and passions through art, song, drama, and any other creative avenue. Many ISFPs also find themselves over-represented in nursing and emergency care services where they can use their on-the-spot thinking to help others.

As thinking types, ISTPs arrange their time based on the events of the day and what needs to be done. After their duties are dealt with they enjoy being alone to engage in action or analysis. Time spent in solitary recreation is often preferred over time spent socializing. Time spent reading books, playing video games, or relaxing at home is often enjoyed. If they have a particular goal personally they can be quite determined and hard-working to achieve it. If they don’t have a goal in mind they tend to enjoy recreation and quiet, relaxing activities that allow them to use both their dominant thinking and auxiliary sensing functions.

ESFPs, ESTPs and Time

ESFPs and ESTPs view time as a resource to be used in the fullest possible way. As dominant Extraverted Sensing (Se) personality types, they are extremely tuned into the present moment. They don’t believe in spending a lot of time reminiscing about the past or hypothesizing about the future. They want to experience all that can be experienced “right now”. They are intensely observant of all that’s happening around them and they seem to have a radar for opportunities, experiences, and enjoyments that could make each moment more exciting. They want to live life to the fullest and they have a strong sense of adventure.

As perceiving types, ESFPs and ESTPs are flexible and adaptable with time. They like being able to switch gears, change plans, or take in new information and opportunities. They tend to be good at multi-tasking and they enjoy mixing work with play. They can struggle with procrastination and completing tasks they find boring or repetitive.

As feeling types, ESFPs believe that time is relative and that they should arrange it based on the needs of their loved ones or their own values. They enjoy areas of personal growth, finding hands-on ways to help people out, and they enjoy playing the role of “good samaritan”. They tend to excel in career fields where they have to think quickly and help people. This is probably why many ESFPs enjoy fast-paced humanitarian or people-centric career fields like being EMT workers, surgeons, or even working in the entertainment industry.

As thinking types, ESTPs objectify time and try to organize it based on the goals and tasks they have to accomplish. They are prone to starting more laborious tasks at the last minute and “cramming” to get them done on time. They can procrastinate about working on their relationships or dealing with inter-personal conflicts because those can make them feel out of their element. They are highly motivated in fields where they can combine both action and quick, logical thinking. They tend to perform well in emergency medical fields, the military, as entrepreneurs, and even as Hollywood stuntmen/women!

ISTJs, ISFJs and Time

ISFJs and ISTJs are usually good at time management and are able to throw out priorities that seem impractical or unrealistic. These types both use a mental process called Introverted Sensing (Si) to gather information. This function tends to compare and contrast past experiences with what is happening in the present moment. As a result, ISJs usually have a fine-tuned awareness of what has worked before and how it can be implemented again. They are also good at planning, particularly making contingency plans so that their future is secure.

As judging types, ISTJs and ISFJs like to have a plan and appreciate knowing what to expect. They enjoy having their days and weeks mapped out so that they can mentally fortify themselves for whatever might be happening. They can be rigid about schedules though and can find it hard to just “relax” and let life happen as it comes to them. As introverts, ISTJs and ISFJs can sometimes get wrapped up in their own projects and forget about what’s happening in the outside world. That said, because they take their responsibilities to their families and communities very seriously they can also run the risk of letting other people invade their time too much. This can result in them getting overwhelmed and drained.

As feeling types, ISFJs see their time as a resource to be used to help others. They believe that time is relative, that it needs to be organized around other people’s needs (a family member, friend, or even a work position). They are often drawn to career fields that involve practical service to communities. In fact, ISFJs are the most common personality type among elementary-school teachers! They believe in applying themselves in a hands-on way (sensing) to the needs and emotional concerns (feeling) of others. They can procrastinate about dealing with conflict situations or giving out criticism.

As thinking types, ISTJs objectify time. They organize time based on which tasks have the highest priority. They especially take their work and community responsibilities seriously and are unlikely to back down from a commitment unless something very serious has come up. They are usually good at prioritizing, organizing tasks, and creating an efficient schedule. They sometimes procrastinate about dealing with relationships or emotional issues.

ESTJs, ESFJs and Time

ESTJs and ESFJs are both very organized and scheduled with their time. These are the people who usually jot down plans in a calendar or an organizer and have their weeks planned out in advance. They like to be prepared and they like lots of projects and activities to keep themselves busy. These two types use a process called Introverted Sensing (Si), an information-gathering function that helps them to hold onto past lessons they’ve learned so that they can implement those lessons in the present or future. They trust “tried-and-true” methods and wisdom that has stood the tests of time.

As judging types, ESTJs and ESFJs don’t like procrastinating or dealing with sudden, unexpected changes. They take their responsibilities and commitments very seriously and will rarely be wishy-washy about things they’ve said they will do. They never want to be caught at the last minute without a schedule or plan – this makes them feel incompetent or insecure. As extraverts, they feel the need to get others involved, and they often enjoy group activities and events. They can sometimes run the risk of being invasive with other people’s time.

As feeling types, ESFJs believe that time should be organized around the needs of people. They are very generous with their time and will often spend hours listening to other people and caring for them even if it means they have to “cram” to finish all their projects. They are usually gifted at organizing people, creating harmony, and boosting morale. They are good at noticing practical needs that need tending to and customizing a comfortable atmosphere for the particular people they are with. They seem to have a sixth-sense for what each individual will find comforting, soothing, or enjoyable.

As thinking types, ESTJs see time as a resource that needs to be utilized as efficiently as possible. They are extremely time-conscious and will prioritize their work responsibilities very well. They usually have to-do lists full of things that need to be done, and they’re usually good at delegating and getting people involved to achieve a goal. They are “work first, play later” people and can procrastinate about making time for leisure and play. Their time management skills, as well as their ability to think logically and effectively, plays a part in making them the highest earning Myers-Briggs® personality type.

What Are Your Thoughts?

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Find out more about your personality type in our eBook, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type.


Women Outnumber Men in Mental Health Profession

A recent article discusses the reasons why male mental health professionals are few and far between. The feminization of the mental health field has been examined for decades. Currently, men represent only twenty percent of psychology degrees earned today, down by 50 percent from only four decades ago. Young male social workers are barely visible, and they account for only 10 percent of all professional counselors practicing. Membership rolls from the American Counseling Association suggest that even the marriage and family counseling landscape is lacking male professionals. The mental health field believes that this trend could cause many men to avoid seeking help when they need it.

“There’s a way in which a guy grows up that he knows some things that women don’t know, and vice versa,” said David Moultrup, a psychotherapist in Belmont, Mass. “But that male viewpoint has been so devalued in the course of empowering little girls for the past 40 or 50 years that it is now all but lost in talk therapy. Society needs to have the choice, and the choice is being taken away.”

The shift is due to cultural and economic influences. Over the past two decades, managed care has decreased incomes drastically. And even psychiatry, which is still male dominated, has resorted to pharmacological treatments. “Usually women get blamed when a profession loses status, but in this case the trend started first, and men just evacuated,” said Dorothy Cantor, a former president of American Psychological Association who conducted a landmark study of gender and psychology in 1995. “Women moved up into the field and took their place.”

© Copyright 2011 by By John Smith, therapist in Bellingham, Washington. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org.

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

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Mary Losey

Another reason might be the historically low pay that mental health professionals get. In my home state (FL) grade school teachers with a bachelors make more than an MA level mental health counselor working at a non profit center. Both fields deserve more pay and both are female dominated.

Lydia K.

“…But that male viewpoint has been so devalued in the course of empowering little girls for the past 40 or 50 years that it is now all but lost in talk therapy. ”

Wow! Little girls are we? Careful you don’t show your chavinistic side there, sir. You sound like you really grudge that empowerment rather than seeing it as only fair that both sexes have equal opportunities in life and work.

he was literally talking about children.

it could be seen as both a good thing and a bad thing. good because it is unlike other professions that are male dominated and bad because it can really lead to a prejudiced view in marriage therapy.

Hampshire

The document clearly proves the clear win by the women over men in mental health profession. Pay structure is a concern though and it should be improved anyway to encourage more professional.

Runninfast

But am I not correct in saying that more women are pursuing college than men are these days? And maybe this is a more natural fit for females then men. As a whole women seem more caring than men. I know that is not always the truth but I think that society in general would state that this is a notion about women that many of us have. Raising awareness about this could get more men into the field, just like with teaching, but I also think that a little more respect is going to have to be doled out to the profession in general to entice many new college grads down this career path.

Helenwelsh

I think it’s because women are naturally more empathic than men are. Everyone knows this, everyone accepts it, and there is evidence to back it up.

If women are naturally able to do the job well, then I really don’t see what the issue is.

Mr. Moultrop sounds like he feels threatened by the increase in female psychologists and counselors now. The old boy’s network must be crumbling before his eyes.

Brandon RA

I would think having more women than men in a profession would be something to cheer about.But a lot of people here point to the pay scale differences and I am disappointed to learn of it.

Is it true anyway? As for me,I think there are more women in this field because they generally prefer this profession more than men and are even better at handling things like these.I also believer at women are mentally more stronger than men in general.

Suzanne Gibbs

@kel: No matter what the gender divide is, there will always be a few amongst any group of professionals or workers that are biased in favor of their gender. That’s because of their nature, not their job.

These types of individuals would do so in other situations apart from just work. You’ll always run across them in life.

That’s just how it goes, and you can’t do anything about that. It won’t change until they do and there’s none so blind as those who will not see.

Reece Small

@Lydia K: There is some truth to his statement. In the quest to get women ahead, society has let men fall behind severely in many ways.

The rise of the feminist movement did help, but never did bring about equality. All it did was invert the scales instead of balancing it out.

But the second anyone tries to empower men, they get shouted down. Why?

Sadie Wilson

@Reece Small — You ask why? Because men have had it too good for too long! Women have had to fight for every right they have today, both over their bodies and their careers. Men had those same rights handed to them on a plate.

Don’t think that glass ceilings don’t exist anymore because they do. Salary imbalances between the sexes continue to be an issue so excuse me if I don’t shed a tear if men think we’re getting too big for our boots and oppressing them now! That’s a laugh.

The truth is they can’t stand the competition, that’s all. It kills them to think there are women out there who are smarter and better at their job than they are.

I know that from my own personal experience a couple of years ago when I needed a therapist to get my life back to some semblance of sanity I looked for a male therapist in my town and the options were not overwhelming. I wanted a man because I felt like he would be better able to relate to my issues than a female. But I eventually had to end up driving an hour to find one because there just was not one where I lived. The relationship worked out great and making the drive was for the ebst but still it would have been nice to have more choices that I felt comfortable with.

Celeste Bloom

Excuse me as I wear the mantle of devil’s advocate here. If I was a man I too would prefer to talk to a man. It’s the same as me preferring a female gynecologist. If I had to see a male one, I wouldn’t go as regularly as I do.

I’m more comfortable talking to my own sex about intimate, personal issues- both psychological and physical.

I don’t see why it would be any different for a man. Male counselors should be accessible to them. It’s only fair.

Cassie V.

If there’s a need there for more males in the counseling profession, then that need should be addressed.

Plenty of businesses and the military visit schools to encourage youngsters to go into their field when they are on the verge of making career decisions and deciding what university or college to attend and course to take.

Why can’t the organizations that support and train psychologists and therapists do the same? Raising awareness would help, as would a salary increase.


Extroversion and Introversion in Couples

In various studies about type and relationships, there seem to be more marriages between extroverts and introverts than like couples (E/E, or I/I). However, these marriages also tend to have more problems than type-alike marriages.

Introverted and extroverted couples are often drawn together because they see something in the opposite partner that balances them out. The introvert, more reclusive, is often attracted to the energy and gregariousness of the extrovert. They don’t have to work as hard to get conversation going and they feel attracted to the characteristics that stand in contrast to their own. The extrovert, in turn, can find the introverts quiet, reflective nature comforting or mysterious. The only problem is that after the initial sparks have died down, these differences can start to create discord or frustration. The introverted spouse may feel depleted by the extroverted spouse. The extroverted spouse may feel ignored by the introverted spouse.

According to Carl Jung, extroverted individuals need to “process and interact with others to communicate their feelings and/or ideas. Introverts have to reflect, to process and sort out internally” If either of these processes is dismissed then naturally the partner who is being dismissed will feel resentment and bitterness with their partner.

Tips for E/I Blended Couples:

If you’re in an introvert/ extrovert relationship, here are some tips to keep you from running into problems:

  • Recognize each other’s needs. Extroverts need to process externally. Introverts need to process alone most of the time. As much as possible, try not to “force” your own way onto your partner.
  • Introverted partners who can get a brief period of alone time after coming home from work are able to respond much better to personal interaction afterwards.
  • Introverts, remember that extroverts need personal connection and outward processing more frequently. Not allowing them to do this can make them feel excluded and repressed. Give them time each day to express their needs, feelings, thoughts, and decisions out loud.
  • Extroverts, realize that introverts need time alone to process information before talking things over. Allow them some quiet time to reflect before expecting an immediate reaction to something. If you push for an immediate reaction, you both might regret it later.

Benefits for E/I Blended Couples:

  • Extroverts can help introverts to experience more of the outside world and what it has to offer.
  • Introverts can help extroverts to slow down and reflect before taking an action.
  • Extroverts can help introduce introverts to a variety of friends they might not otherwise have met.
  • Introverts can help remind extroverts to tend to their own individual needs.

Sensing and Intuition in Couples

Typically, Sensing-Sensing couples tend to get along very well. Based on a 1981 study in the Journal for Psychological Type, Sensing-Sensing couples reported less problems in their marriages than Intuitive-Sensing or Intuitive-Intuitive relationships. Intuitive-Intuitive relationships reported the most problems of all the combinations. According to Ruth G. Sherman who conducted the study, “One factor that may contribute to these results may be a reflection of a sensing type’s sense of humor on the difficulties that are bound to occur when two people live together. A sense of humor can keep minor irritations from becoming major obstacles. Another contributing factor may be that intuitives experience a higher level of expectation than sensing types do. Sensing types tend to be practical, realistic, and matter-of-fact, whereas intuitives tend to be more idealistic and imaginative, and to focus on the satisfactions the future will bring. Imagination and idealism can create unrealistic fantasies that no mate could possibly satisfy, and unmet expectation results in disappointment and dissatisfaction.” Sherman also hypothesized that because intuitives tend to dislike nitty-gritty detail work and chores, two intuitive partners together might find themselves resenting whichever partner avoids the bulk of that kind of work.

All this taken into consideration, your personality type certainly doesn’t dictate how happy you’ll be in a relationship. These are just some stumbling blocks to look out for on your relationship journey.

Problems occur in sensing-intuitive relationships when the two partners see a situation from completely different perspectives. Intuitive types look for implications, underlying meanings, and connections. Sensing partners look at what is provable, real, and tangible. Intuitive partners can inadvertently make sensing types feel unimaginative and dull, even if they are not. Sensing partners can make intuitive partners feel impractical and inattentive, even when they are not. The truth is, intuitives are attentive to different things than sensing types are. Sensing types are not dull or uncreative, they simply prefer to work with tangible objects and draw from experience rather than an idealistic image in their mind.

Couples in sensing/intuitive relationships tend to disagree about which information is relevant in a decision. Intuitives tend to make “leaps” based on abstract connections, whereas sensing types will want more tangible data. Intuitives also tend to project into the future more than sensing types, who prefer to stay grounded in the present. An intuitive may spend hours daydreaming about what could happen someday, while a sensor tries to pull them back towards what’s happening now. The intuitive, in contrast, may try to pull the sensor towards the future and away from the now as much as possible.

Understanding the differences between sensing and intuition can help couples to avoid misunderstandings and arguments. I wrote an article about sensing/intuitive blended relationships here that can be helpful in this regard.

Tips for S/N Blended Couples:

  • Go out of your way to appreciate each other’s strengths. Compliment each other. Intuitives, praise your sensing partner’s observance to detail and realistic perspectives. Sensors, praise your intuitive partner’s insight and imagination.
  • Avoid “superior” thinking. When you find yourself looking down on your partner because they missed something that seemed obvious to you, avoid rubbing their face in it. Remind yourself of that they are wired to notice different information than you are.
  • Sensors, remember that intuitives tend to forget specifics and details more quickly than you do. Their minds are programmed to notice connections, possibilities, and implications much more than details, facts, and specifics.
  • Intuitives, remember that sensors tend to struggle with noticing abstract connections and implications and are more conscious of specifics, details, and experiences.

Benefits of a Sensing/Intuitive Blended Relationship:

  • Sensors can help intuitives to stay more grounded in reality and the present moment.
  • Sensors can help intuitives to see the realities of the current situation.
  • Sensors can quickly apply real-world experience to a problem.
  • Intuitives can bring up unusual possibilities and solutions that the sensor might miss.
  • Intuitives can realize future trends and implications that should be taken into consideration.
  • Intuitives can focus on long-term goals and use their insight to circumvent potential obstacles.

Thinking and Feeling in Couples

Thinking and feeling blended couples experience many positives. They can balance each other out and make wiser decisions if they work to understand and respect each other’s preferences. However, there tend to be struggles in these relationships because of disagreements in decisions.

Based on a 1981 study of 160 couples, men living with thinking women reported fewer problems in almost all areas and women living with feeling men reported fewer problems for eight of twelve problem-areas. This may have to do with the fact that a larger percentage of thinking males (roughly 55-67% of the US population) exist. Women are predominated by feeling types as well, with 65-76% of the US population composed of feeling women. Because of this, feeling women with feeling men and thinking men with thinking women are likely to find more consensus on decisions.

When a couple differs on Thinking and Feeling, they can have major disagreements on decisions. The thinking partner will value an objective approach considering pros and cons, logic, facts, truth. The feeling partner will value a people-oriented approach considering personal implications, ethics, and values. Thinking partners can find feeling types overly-sensitive or illogical, whereas feeling types can view thinking types as uncaring, callous, or hyper-critical.

Tips for T/F Blended Couples:

  • Thinking types should show appreciation before giving criticism. This will help the criticism not to sting as harshly.
  • Thinking types, refrain from giving criticism too freely. Pause and reflect on whether the criticism actually matters and is necessary.
  • Feeling types, try to express your desires and wishes directly. Don’t assume your partner will automatically know what you need or want.
  • Feeling types, recognize which critical comments are coming from a place of impersonal observation and which are meant to be hurtful. Realize that just as it’s natural for you to express your feelings or values, it’s natural for thinking types to point out things that strike them as illogical or inefficient.

Benefits of a Thinking/Feeling Blended Relationship:

  • Feeling types can help thinking types to predict how others will react or feel.
  • Feeling types can help thinking types to realize when compromise is necessary.
  • Feeling types can organize people and tasks to work harmoniously.
  • Feeling types can provide exceptional warmth and appreciation in the relationship.
  • Thinking types can help feeling types to analyze the logical consequences of a decision.
  • Thinking types can help feeling types to stand firm for their principles and policies.
  • Thinking types can help feeling types to devise rational systems.
  • Thinking types can help feeling types to cut through the emotional implications and see the objective truth of a situation.

Judging and Perceiving Couples

Having a plan and a sense of order is very important to Judging types, whereas spontaneity and freedom are very important to Perceiving types. These preferences can create tension in relationships between Judging and Perceiving partners. Alternatively, Judger-Judger relationships can become too rigid in their routine or plan, and Perceiver-Perceiver relationships can encounter problems when both partners procrastinate too freely.

Based on a 1981 study of 160 couples, Perceiving mates of Judging individuals reported more problems than average, regardless of which partner was male or female. This had to do with the fact that Judging individuals tended to organize their world and seek closure which made Perceiving types feel controlled or pushed into decisions before they were ready. The study stated that this was particularly a problem for NPs, who expressed the strongest need for freedom. Perceivers may resent Judging partners or Judging partners can become bitter towards perceiving partners who are reluctant to stick to a plan. According to various studies, two Judging individuals in a relationship appear to be more satisfied in their relationships, and two Perceiving individuals show more satisfaction as well. That said, there are many happy J/P blended couples in the world, and mixing the two preferences can create more balance in a relationship.

Tips for J/P Blended Couples:

  • Learn about each other’s personality types and try to respect each other’s needs. Judgers should try to be more patient with the Perceiver’s need for alternatives and options. Perceivers should try to be more conscious of the stress it causes Judgers to have things left undecided. It’s important for both partners to work on this together. If only one partner is doing their part then this can lead to resentment and frustration.
  • Judgers, realize that Perceivers will need more time to explore their options before making a decision. Try not to expect a spur-of-the-moment answer to a serious question.
  • Perceivers, realize that Judgers will feel overwhelmed when there isn’t a structure to their day or a clear plan for their future. Try not to leave everything undecided for too long. Try to let them know ahead of time what to expect.
  • Judgers, realize that Perceivers like to mix work with play and sprint to finish a project at the end.
  • Perceivers, realize that Judgers like to do all their work before they play. They can’t relax when projects are left unfinished.

Benefits of a Perceiving/Judging Blended Relationship:

  • Judgers can help Perceivers to outline the details of their plan.
  • Perceivers can help Judgers to see creative angles and possibilities that would have been missed in a rush to complete something.
  • Judgers can help Perceivers to come to a decision when they are overwhelmed by alternatives.
  • Perceivers can help Judgers to relax and focus on the possibilities in the present moment.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Did you enjoy this article? Do you have any thoughts or insights to share? Let us know in the comments!

Other Articles You Might Enjoy:

Sources:

The MBTI® Manual – Third Edition. Pages 240-245

Just Your Type: Create the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted Using the Secrets of Personality Type


Judging vs. Perceiving Preference

Judging (J) and Perceiving (P) are how you interact with the world outside yourself, either in a structured or flexible manner. Judging and Perceiving are opposite preferences. A person’s natural tendency toward one will be stronger than the other.

Judgers and Perceivers each make up roughly half of the population, with there being slightly fewer Perceivers. Males are somewhat more perceiving than females on average.

Judging (J)

Judging people think sequentially. They value order and organization. Their lives are scheduled and structured. Judging people seek closure and enjoy completing tasks. They take deadlines seriously. They work then they play. The Judging preference does not mean judgmental. Judging refers to how a person deals with day-to-day activities.

Judging Characteristics

  • Decisive
  • Controlled
  • Good at finishing
  • Organized
  • Structured
  • Scheduled
  • Quick at tasks
  • Responsible
  • Likes closure
  • Makes plans

Judging Personality Types

Perceiving (P)

Perceivers are adaptable and flexible. They are random thinkers who prefer to keep their options open. Perceivers thrive with the unexpected and are open to change. They are spontaneous and often juggle several projects at once. They enjoy starting a task better than finishing it. Deadlines are often merely suggestions. Perceivers play as they work.

Perceiving Characteristics

  • Adaptable
  • Relaxed
  • Disorganized
  • Care-free
  • Spontaneous
  • Changes tracks midway
  • Keeps options open
  • Procrastinates
  • Dislikes routine
  • Flexible

Perceiving Personality Types

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Judging (J)

I use my decision-making (Judging) preference (whether it is Thinking or Feeling) in my outer life. To others, I seem to prefer a planned or orderly way of life, like to have things settled and organized, feel more comfortable when decisions are made, and like to bring life under control as much as possible.

Since this pair only describes what I prefer in the outer world, I may, inside, feel flexible and open to new information (which I am).

Do not confuse Judging with judgmental, in its negative sense about people and events. They are not related.

The following statements generally apply to me:

  • I like to have things decided.
  • I appear to be task oriented.
  • I like to make lists of things to do.
  • I like to get my work done before playing.
  • I plan work to avoid rushing just before a deadline.
  • Sometimes I focus so much on the goal that I miss new information.

What are the most masculine and feminine personality types?

Apparently extroversion, feeling and judging are "feminine" traits while introversion, thinking, and perceiving are "masuline" traits. Would this mean ISTPs and INTPs are the most masculine personality types while ESFJs and ENFJs are the most feminine personality types?

I'm pretty sure I'm an INTP and though I used to think of myself as a feminine male, learning more about gender psychology I've come to the conclusion I'm a masculine personality that likes a lot of feminine things. My sister is also an INTP, and is more logical than emotional and she comes off as having a masculine personality despite being very feminine in appearance.

I personally don't think INTPs are traditionally masculine at all, lol. Of course, we're basically going on stereotypes in determining what masculinity and femininity even are, and it gets further muddled when you consider how every individual perceives those traits differently.

This is totally just my own opinion and not a description of what the functions do, but how they "feel" to me btw so this is all super subjective:

Ne: Childlike, playful, elastic, innocent

Fe: Flexible, considerate, nurturing

Se: Alert, quick, rough, adaptable

Te: Assertive, powerful, rigid, blunt

Ni: Heavy, direct, shadowy, withdrawn

Fi: Reactive, compassionate, intimate, fiery

Si: Earthy, absorbent, grounded

Ti: Sharp, probing, detached

IMO: Ne and Fe are decidedly feminine, Ni and Fi are neutral-leaning-feminine, Si and Se are neutral-leaning-masculine, and Te and Ti the most masculine. Looking at this, I guess I perceive T/S as masculine, and N/F as feminine, which I think is pretty common, according to some foggy memories of reading about type and gender.

So I suppose your most masculine would be your STPs, STJ, and NTJs. Your most feminine, probably your NFJs, NFPs, and SFJs.

I think that's why I perceive ENTPs and INTPs as more feminine than their STP counterparts, and NTJs as slightly more feminine than STJs (though neither feminine as a whole). INTPs seem to operate in a masculine underlying manner with feminine mannerisms/appearance imo. ENTPs strike me as more feminine.

I really like gender and perception so this is fun for me to think about.


Sexual coercion and the misperception of sexual intent ☆

Misperceiving a woman's platonic interest as sexual interest has been implicated in a sexual bargaining process that leads to sexual coercion. This paper provides a comprehensive review of sexual misperception, including gender differences in perception of women's sexual intent, the relationship between sexual coercion and misperception, and situational factors that increase the risk that sexual misperception will occur. Compared to women, men consistently perceive a greater degree of sexual intent in women's behavior. However, there is evidence to suggest that this gender effect may be driven largely by a sub-group of men who are particularly prone to perceive sexual intent in women's behavior, such as sexually coercive men and men who endorse sex-role stereotypes. Situational factors, such as alcohol use by the man or woman, provocative clothing, and dating behaviors (e.g., initiating the date or making eye contact), are all associated with increased estimates of women's sexual interest. We also critique the current measurement strategies and introduce a model of perception that more closely maps on to important theoretical questions in this area. A clearer understanding of sexual perception errors and the etiology of these errors may serve to guide sexual-assault prevention programs toward more effective strategies.

This work was supported by grants from the National Institute of Mental Health (T32-MH17146) and the National Institute of Alcohol and Alcohol Abuse (F31-AA016055).


Why Women, but Not Men, Are Judged for a Messy House

They’re still held to a higher social standard, which explains why they’re doing so much housework, studies show.

Image

Even in 2019, messy men are given a pass and messy women are unforgiven. Three recently published studies confirm what many women instinctively know: Housework is still considered women’s work — especially for women who are living with men.

Women do more of such work when they live with men than when they live alone, one of the studies found. Even though men spend more time on domestic tasks than men of previous generations, they’re typically not doing traditionally feminine chores like cooking and cleaning, another showed. The third study pointed to a reason: Socially, women — but not men — are judged negatively for having a messy house and undone housework.

It’s an example of how social mores, whether or not an individual believes in them, influence behavior, the social scientists who did the research say. And when it comes to gender, expectations about housework have been among the slowest to change.

“Everyone knows what the stereotype or expectations might be, so even if they don’t endorse them personally, it will still affect their behavior,” even if they say they have progressive views about gender roles, said Sarah Thébaud, a sociologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and an author of one of the papers.

The additional time that women spend on unpaid household labor is a root of gender inequality — it influences how men and women relate at home, and how much time women spend on paid work.

On average, women spend 2.3 hours a day on house tasks, and men spend 1.4 hours, according to Department of Labor data. Even when men say they split housework evenly, the data shows they do not. (Women do more of these kinds of chores in the office, too.)

One of the recent studies, in the journal Demography, analyzed American Time Use Survey data and found that mothers married to men did more housework than single mothers, slept less and had less leisure time.

“One possibility is what people believe is expected of them to be a good wife and partner is still really strong, and you’re held to those standards when you’re living with someone,” said Joanna Pepin, a sociologist at the University of Maryland, who wrote the paper with Liana Sayer, a colleague at Maryland, and Lynne Casper from the University of Southern California.

Other possibilities, Ms. Pepin said, were that men created more housework single mothers were more tired or children did more chores when they lived with a single mother.

Women tend to do more indoor chores, research shows, like cleaning and cooking, most of which occur daily. Men do more outdoor chores, like lawn mowing or car washing, which happen less often.

Another recent study, in the journal Gender & Society, looked at people in opposite-sex marriages and found that even though men who live in cities spend less time on outdoor chores than suburban or rural men, they don’t spend any additional time on other kinds of chores. Women spend the same amount of time on chores regardless of where they live.

The pattern demonstrates how much housework is considered women’s work, said the researchers, Natasha Quadlin at Ohio State University and Long Doan at the University of Maryland, who used data from the American Time Use Survey and the Current Population Survey.

One way to be masculine is to do typically male chores, they concluded — and another way is to refuse to do typically female ones.

These studies relied on survey data to show what people do. A study published last month in Sociological Methods & Research tried to explain why women do more housework. The researchers conducted an experiment to uncover the beliefs that drive people’s behavior.

They showed 624 people a photo of a messy living room and kitchen — dishes on the counters, a cluttered coffee table, blankets strewn about — or the clean version of the same space. ( They used MTurk, a survey platform popular with social scientists the participants were slightly more educated and more likely to be white and liberal than the population at large.)

The results debunked the age-old excuse that women have an innately lower tolerance for messiness. Men notice the dust and piles. They just aren’t held to the same social standards for cleanliness, the study found.

When participants were told that a woman occupied the clean room, it was judged as less clean than when a man occupied it, and she was thought to be less likely to be viewed positively by visitors and less comfortable with visitors.

Both men and women were penalized for having a messy room. When respondents were told it was occupied by a man, they said that it was in more urgent need of cleaning and that the men were less responsible and hardworking than messy women. The mess seemed to play into a stereotype of men as lazy slobs, the researchers said.

But there was a key difference: Unlike for women, participants said messy men were not likely to be judged by visitors or feel uncomfortable having visitors over.

“It may activate negative stereotypes about men if they’re messy, but it’s inconsequential because there’s no expected social consequence to that,” said Ms. Thébaud, who did the study with the sociologists Sabino Kornrich of Emory and Leah Ruppanner of the University of Melbourne. “It’s that ‘boys will be boys’ thing.”

Most of the time, respondents said a woman would be responsible for cleaning the room — especially if the occupants were in a heterosexual marriage and both were working full time.

“The ways it gets reinforced are so subtle,” said Darcy Lockman, the author of a new book about the unequal division of labor, “All the Rage,” and a clinical psychologist. “ ‘I should relieve my husband of burdens’ — it’s so automatic.”

Social scientists have been observing these pressures for decades. In 1989, the sociologist Arlie Russell Hochschild wrote “The Second Shift,” documenting how even in dual-career couples, women did significantly more housework and child care than men. In 1998, the sociologist Barbara Risman described in the book “Gender Vertigo” how people feel pressure from members of both genders to perform certain roles.

Since then, men’s and women’s roles have changed in many parts of life — but not regarding housekeeping. In a study last year, Ms. Risman showed that Americans are now more likely to value gender equality at work than at home.

Bigger forces shape these beliefs. Employers increasingly demand employees to be on call at work, for example, which can end up forcing one parent (usually the mother) to step back from work to be on call at home. This happens for same-sex couples, too, showing that it’s not just about gender — it’s also about the way paid work is set up.

Policies that encourage men to take on more responsibility at home — like use-it-or-lose-it paternity leave in Canada and Scandinavian countries — could increase their involvement, evidence suggests.

The stereotypes start with what boys are taught. Research has found that when mothers work for pay and fathers do household chores, their sons become adults who spend more time on housework.

So far, what we know about the next generation is that girls are doing less housework. But boys aren’t doing that much more.


Judging vs. Perceiving Preference

Judging (J) and Perceiving (P) are how you interact with the world outside yourself, either in a structured or flexible manner. Judging and Perceiving are opposite preferences. A person’s natural tendency toward one will be stronger than the other.

Judgers and Perceivers each make up roughly half of the population, with there being slightly fewer Perceivers. Males are somewhat more perceiving than females on average.

Judging (J)

Judging people think sequentially. They value order and organization. Their lives are scheduled and structured. Judging people seek closure and enjoy completing tasks. They take deadlines seriously. They work then they play. The Judging preference does not mean judgmental. Judging refers to how a person deals with day-to-day activities.

Judging Characteristics

  • Decisive
  • Controlled
  • Good at finishing
  • Organized
  • Structured
  • Scheduled
  • Quick at tasks
  • Responsible
  • Likes closure
  • Makes plans

Judging Personality Types

Perceiving (P)

Perceivers are adaptable and flexible. They are random thinkers who prefer to keep their options open. Perceivers thrive with the unexpected and are open to change. They are spontaneous and often juggle several projects at once. They enjoy starting a task better than finishing it. Deadlines are often merely suggestions. Perceivers play as they work.

Perceiving Characteristics

  • Adaptable
  • Relaxed
  • Disorganized
  • Care-free
  • Spontaneous
  • Changes tracks midway
  • Keeps options open
  • Procrastinates
  • Dislikes routine
  • Flexible

Perceiving Personality Types

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Judging (J)

I use my decision-making (Judging) preference (whether it is Thinking or Feeling) in my outer life. To others, I seem to prefer a planned or orderly way of life, like to have things settled and organized, feel more comfortable when decisions are made, and like to bring life under control as much as possible.

Since this pair only describes what I prefer in the outer world, I may, inside, feel flexible and open to new information (which I am).

Do not confuse Judging with judgmental, in its negative sense about people and events. They are not related.

The following statements generally apply to me:

  • I like to have things decided.
  • I appear to be task oriented.
  • I like to make lists of things to do.
  • I like to get my work done before playing.
  • I plan work to avoid rushing just before a deadline.
  • Sometimes I focus so much on the goal that I miss new information.

Here’s How You Respond to Grief, Based on Your Personality Type

ISTJ

ISTJs experiencing grief can get stuck in a “loop” of re-playing what went wrong and how they could have done things differently or better. They tend to blame themselves first when things go wrong, rather than looking outside themselves. They can have difficulty assessing their own emotions, sorting through how they feel, or taking the time to understand it. When their emotions do hit them, often completely out of the blue, they tend to feel powerless and out of control. This feeling of being out of control is unnerving for them, even terrifying sometimes, especially because ISTJs are such strong believers in controlling their impulses and emotions. On the outside, they tend to present a calm face even if inside they are experiencing deep inner turmoil. They try to step back and apply detached logic to the situation, sometimes even choosing to “cut loose” and move on from their grief as quickly as possible, but this can result in repressed emotions, anger, and despair that “bubbles up” later.

In cases of chronic despair or stress, ISTJs can get stuck in a phase of “catastrophizing”. They may see nothing but negative possibilities and things that could go wrong. They may try to brainstorm solutions, but see nothing that looks promising. You can find out more about this stage, and what helps them here.

ISFJ

ISFJs experiencing grief can get stuck in a cycle of replaying what went wrong and what they could have done differently or better. They tend to blame themselves before looking outward at the other effects and facts involved. They often get stuck dwelling on negative emotions as well as experiencing the pain of other people affected by whatever happened. They can find it very difficult to see beyond the immediate personal turmoil they are experiencing. They tend to be supportive and good listeners to other people who are also grieving. They will usually try to find practical ways to help or provide emotional support. Often they are helped by “venting” their emotions or getting support from a counselor or trusted friend. They are less likely than thinking types to avoid dealing with the emotions and only have them “bubble up” later.

In cases of chronic despair or stress, ISFJs can get stuck in a “catastrophizing” phase. In this phase they see nothing but what could go wrong, and they may fixate on brainstorming, only to find negative possibilities and outcomes for the future. You can find out more about this stage and what helps them here.

ESTJ

ESTJs experiencing grief try to present an active, competent face to the world. They don’t want the world to know what they are feeling and it can be easy for others to miss signs of their distress. It is common for them to look outwards to find blame before looking inwards and if confronted during a particularly stressful time, they may seem bitter or irritated by it rather than encouraged. They’ll try to apply detached logic to the situation, take charge of things, or else move on completely and quickly.

ESTJs tend to struggle with accessing their own emotions when they are grieving. They may try to “stay busy” and fix things and take care of practical matters rather than resolve their own emotions. This can cause emotions to show up later in unhealthy or out-of-control ways. They can also become impatient or uncomfortable with other people experiencing grief in a more emotional way. This forces them to look their own despair in the face. When they do experience their own emotions, they tend to feel out-of-control and powerless.

in cases of chronic despair or stress, ESTJs can get stuck feeling that everyone is against them or that they are without support. They feel like they have to be “the responsible one” or “the calm one” and this can make them resentful of others or depressed. You can find out more about this stage and what helps them here.

ESFJ

ESFJs experiencing grief tend to try to appear active and competent, regardless of how much pain they are feeling inside. This may cause others to underestimate their distress. They may become fixated on “fixing” things, cleaning house, taking meals to people, and solving practical matters. They may assume that their loved ones should just know how they feel without having to explicitly state how they feel. This can cause frustration if they don’t get the comfort and empathy that they need from people. It can be difficult for them to say, “I need to talk right now”, or “I am feeling sad, can we sit together”.

Once support is given by someone, they will usually seek support more freely and express their emotions readily. They are also good at helping other people express their emotions, providing a listening ear and affection to those who are struggling. They are very in tune with the emotional experiences of others, so this can cause them to get “stuck” not only in their own grief, but the grief others are experiencing. They may overdo being supportive, and feel overbearing to types who prefer more space and independence.

In cases of chronic of despair or stress, ESFJs can get stuck in a “criticizer” mode. They may become excessively self-critical, finding fault with everything they do. They may see nothing but flaws, mostly in themselves, but also in others. They may search endlessly for a logical “fix” for their despair. They usually experience very low self-esteem at this time. You can find out more about this stage, and what helps them here.

ISTP

ISTPs experiencing grief tend to appear one of two ways: Either they are extremely reserved and stoic, keeping to themselves and trying to “move on” from the problem as quickly as possible, or they do the opposite and become uncharacteristically emotional and angry. Some ISTPs fluctuate between the two extremes. They are usually not anxious to seek people out to talk things over. They usually look inwards and tend to blame themselves before placing blame on others.

ISTPs are good at stepping back and applying detached logic to whatever situation is causing them grief. They can problem-solve and find practical solutions to try to prevent the same situation repeating itself. But they can struggle with accessing their own emotions, giving themselves time to grieve, and in turn, become overwhelmed by their unprocessed emotions.

ISTPs who are experiencing chronic despair or stress tend to become uncharacteristically emotional. They are likely to have angry outbursts or lose their characteristic level-headed, logical nature. This is very upsetting for them because it’s so unnatural to how they normally behave. You can find out more about this stage and what helps them here.

ISFP

ISFPs experiencing grief tend to feel emotionally exhausted and trapped. Some feel intense emotions and anger and show it, while others do the exact opposite and hide everything they are feeling from others. They tend to look inside first to try to figure out what they could have done wrong or if there was any moral failure on their part. They aren’t quick to cast blame on outside sources. Many ISFPs feel a loss of energy and a feeling of burnout and depersonalization. They can get stuck sleeping a lot or watching a lot of TV to try to preserve their energy or decrease their stress levels. They won’t usually open up emotionally to someone unless a great deal of trust has already been established. It is helpful for them to have plenty of time to process their emotions.

ISFPs who are experiencing chronic despair or stress can become uncharacteristically critical and sarcastic. They may become obsessed with fixing problems or “righting” wrongs, or they may turn their criticism inwards and evaluate all the ways they believe they have failed. You can find out more about this stage and get tips for overcoming it here.

ESTP

ESTPs experiencing grief tend to appear calm, practical, and in control. It can be difficult for other people to identify the turmoil they are feeling inside, and it can be hard for them to even take time to process it. ESTPs are the kind of people who are strong believers in “picking themselves up by their bootstraps” and moving on, so adequately processing emotions isn’t something they give priority to. They tend to avoid asking for help if they need it, and may experience sudden bursts of emotion or anger that are confusing to them because they spend so little time introspecting about their own feelings.

If despair or stress is chronic, ESTPs may fall into a state of “doom and gloom”. They may see only one negative possibility for the future and lose their signature optimism and resourcefulness. Everything can seem bleak and ominous when they are in this stage. You can find out more about this stage and get tips for overcoming it here.

ESFP

ESFPs tend to look outside of themselves first when they experience grief. They will try to figure out where the problem started, where the blame lies, and what the facts were. Then they will introspect to see how they feel about what’s going on and process their emotions. After a brief respite of solitude they usually want to find someone to talk to and confide in. They benefit tremendously from expressing their emotions to someone else and seeking support. According to the MBTI® Manual, ESFPs are one of the most likely types to “get angry and show it” during times of high stress. They can get stuck in negative emotions or find it difficult to see beyond the immediate turmoil they are experiencing.

One of the positive qualities of ESFPs is that they are usually good at looking around and offering support to others who are also grieving. The more support they can find from their loved ones, and the more time they give themselves to process their emotions, the better.

If despair or stress is chronic, ESFPs may fall into a state of disillusionment. During these stages, they tend to feel that the future holds nothing but one negative scenario, and they can lose their signature optimism and resourcefulness. You can find out more about this stage and get tips for overcoming it here.

INTJ

When experiencing grief, INTJs tend to look inwards first. They often want to detach from the world and get away to process things on their own. They can have difficulty processing the emotions they are dealing with, and may find themselves trying to apply logic to the situation so they can move on. They often become impatient with themselves and overwhelmed if they aren’t given time or space. If they have to be around other people they will try to present a calm face. They usually don’t want other people to know about their emotional struggles and grief unless there is a considerable amount of trust built up. Some INTJs find themselves increasingly drawn to sleep or exercise as a way to deal with it.

If despair or stress is chronic, INTJs may fall into a state of indulgence or hyper-sensory awareness. They can become uncharacteristically obsessed with details or prone to binge-eating/drinking or over-exercising or anything sensory and impulsive. You can find out more about this phase, and how to help here.

INFJ

When INFJs experience grief, they will initially look inwards to try to process what happened privately. Unfortunately this means that they often blame themselves for things that might have been caused by an outer source. They will usually withdraw from people for a while, processing the emotions, trying to understand the implications of what happened and the meaning of it all. Over time they will seek support if they have a trusted confidante, but if there’s nobody they are especially close to they will usually keep quiet. They are concerned with how other people are handling grief as well, and will seek to support other people in their emotions. They can get stuck experiencing everyone else’s pain and lose sight of processing their own feelings. They can also overdo being supportive and forget to take care of themselves.

If despair or stress is chronic, INFJs may fall into a state of over-indulgence or hyper-sensory awareness. This takes on different forms for different INFJs. Some will over-eat, some drink too much, some exercise or clean excessively. The over-arching theme, however, is that they get stuck doing impulsive, indulgent activities or obsessing over details. You can find out more about this phase (and what helps) here.

ENTJ

When ENTJs experience grief, they tend to appear much calmer on the outside than they really feel inside. They try to present a composed, “in control” face to the world while inside the turmoil they feel is usually very overwhelming. To handle their suppressed feelings, they may try to problem-solve, take charge, or “fix” things in their outer world. They often try to apply logic to the situation and inevitably feel betrayed when this doesn’t work. They can become impatient with their own emotions and the emotions of people around them. They may suddenly find themselves crying or upset out of nowhere, and have difficulty even knowing why they’re crying because they’ve suppressed their emotions for so long.

If despair or stress is chronic, ENTJs may fall into an uncharacteristically emotional, introspective state. They can become very withdrawn from people and lose sight of their normal “in-charge, always logical” mindset. They may feel that everyone is against them or that nobody truly supports them. It’s important for loved ones to give them space, but to also use acts of service to prove that they care. When they are ready to talk, they need someone who can let them vent without judging them or trying to rationalize their feelings. You can find out more about this stage and get tips for overcoming it here.

ENFJ

When ENFJs experience grief, they can have a difficult time showing their true feelings to the world. They usually feel pressure to maintain a calm presence around people, especially others who are suffering. They may initially repress their emotions in order to tend to others who are grieving or in order to “fix” things that need fixing. Eventually, their own emotions bubble up to the surface and they find themselves seeking support. They are usually good at empathizing with other people who are grieving as well as finding support when they are ready to talk. It’s important for them not to take on the role of “supporter” too heavily and never get around to processing their own emotions. Many ENFJs report that exercising while they process their thoughts and emotions is helpful.

If despair or stress is chronic, ENFJs may fall into an uncharacteristically critical stage. They may appear more harsh, critical, and exacting than usual and may withdraw from people. They can get stuck analyzing what happened and finding ways to blame themselves for what went wrong. To find ways to help them in this phase, click here.

INTP

When INTPs experience grief they usually avoid showing it for a very long time. They will draw inward, seek privacy, and look inside themselves to discover what went wrong. They are prone to self-blame so it’s important for them to take time to look outside and realize the problem (or whatever happened) is much bigger than they could have controlled. They tend to feel increasing turmoil the more they suppress their emotions, but they persist in hiding them. Many INTPs report that they feel awkward asking for help or expressing how they feel. They may try to apply logic to the situation or “cut loose” and move on. While this isn’t always bad, it can cause their suppressed emotions to stay in the shadows only to “bubble up” later.

If they don’t deal with their emotions or find the support they need, they may suddenly reach a breaking point and become uncharacteristically emotional and angry. They tend to withdraw when they are in these phases because they feel out of control and unsure of themselves. You can find out more about this stage, and how to help someone experiencing it here.

INFP

When INFPs experience grief they will draw inward and want some time alone and privacy to sort through their emotions. Like all introverts, INFPs are prone to looking inward and blaming themselves first. It’s important for others to realize this and re-affirm that whatever happened was not their fault. Some INFPs are helped by writing down their emotions, others just need to soak in them for a while and allow them to come and go on their own. After some time alone, most INFPs will find a trusted friend or family member to talk to. They’ll want support, affirmation, and empathy during this time. They are also good at providing support to others who are struggling and grieving. Many INFPs report that talking to a counselor helps them.

If INFPs don’t deal with their emotions or find someone to talk to, they may let the stress and despair build up to a breaking point. When this happens they can become uncharacteristically harsh and critical with others. They may become sarcastic, cynical, and focused on righting wrongs. They may also become obsessed with organizing things or analyzing the situation logically. You can find out more about this stage, and how to help someone experiencing it here.

ENTP

ENTPs experiencing grief tend to initially conceal their feelings and put on a calm face around others. They often try to apply logic to the situation, but then feel resentful of their own logic when it fails to dissuade their sorrow. They usually need time alone and privacy to sort through what’s happening. They tend to rush the grieving process as quickly as possible – often too quickly. This can cause repressed emotions to “bubble up” to the surface unexpectedly at a later date. They may find themselves crying but have no idea why, or they may find themselves becoming edgier and easily angered than before. It’s important for friends to let them know that they are there if they want to talk, and to be aware that what is happening is very likely a result of unprocessed grief.

If ENTPs don’t find a means to deal with their grief or they experience ongoing stress, they may go through a phase of being uncharacteristically focused on details. They may feel that they have to tie up a bunch of loose ends, or they may develop “tunnel vision” and focus solely on nitty-gritty details and facts. They can also develop symptoms of hypochondria and worry about illnesses. You can find out more about this stage and how to help here.

ENFP

ENFPs tend to have one of two reactions to grief. Some ENFPs will want to just get away from everyone and everything and go somewhere new to process their feelings. Others will seek out the comfort and support of people they trust. They will not usually open up to people who aren’t especially close to them. They will try to understand the meaning of what happened. If there was a death involved, they may consider things like the afterlife, the meaning of life, how short life is, and other big-picture questions. While they seek support they will also want to give it to others who are grieving. They are good at listening to others and providing empathy and assistance. It’s important, however, that they not get stuck in the role of “supporter” for too long and forget to take care of their own needs. It’s also important that they give themselves time to process the emotions privately.

If ENFPs don’t find a means to deal with their grief, or if despair or stress is ongoing, they may go through a “grip stress” phase. When this happens, they become uncharacteristically focused on details and tying up loose ends. They can develop “tunnel vision” and obsess over a project that needs to be finished. Some ENFPs develop physical symptoms and when in a stress phase, can worry that their symptoms are the sign of a serious, life-threatening illness. You can find out more about this phase, and how to help, here.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Was this helpful? Is there anything you would add? Let us know in the comments!

If you’re looking for ways to help those who are grieving, check out the second part of this article here.

Find out more about your personality type in our eBook, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type.


Sexual coercion and the misperception of sexual intent ☆

Misperceiving a woman's platonic interest as sexual interest has been implicated in a sexual bargaining process that leads to sexual coercion. This paper provides a comprehensive review of sexual misperception, including gender differences in perception of women's sexual intent, the relationship between sexual coercion and misperception, and situational factors that increase the risk that sexual misperception will occur. Compared to women, men consistently perceive a greater degree of sexual intent in women's behavior. However, there is evidence to suggest that this gender effect may be driven largely by a sub-group of men who are particularly prone to perceive sexual intent in women's behavior, such as sexually coercive men and men who endorse sex-role stereotypes. Situational factors, such as alcohol use by the man or woman, provocative clothing, and dating behaviors (e.g., initiating the date or making eye contact), are all associated with increased estimates of women's sexual interest. We also critique the current measurement strategies and introduce a model of perception that more closely maps on to important theoretical questions in this area. A clearer understanding of sexual perception errors and the etiology of these errors may serve to guide sexual-assault prevention programs toward more effective strategies.

This work was supported by grants from the National Institute of Mental Health (T32-MH17146) and the National Institute of Alcohol and Alcohol Abuse (F31-AA016055).


What are the most masculine and feminine personality types?

Apparently extroversion, feeling and judging are "feminine" traits while introversion, thinking, and perceiving are "masuline" traits. Would this mean ISTPs and INTPs are the most masculine personality types while ESFJs and ENFJs are the most feminine personality types?

I'm pretty sure I'm an INTP and though I used to think of myself as a feminine male, learning more about gender psychology I've come to the conclusion I'm a masculine personality that likes a lot of feminine things. My sister is also an INTP, and is more logical than emotional and she comes off as having a masculine personality despite being very feminine in appearance.

I personally don't think INTPs are traditionally masculine at all, lol. Of course, we're basically going on stereotypes in determining what masculinity and femininity even are, and it gets further muddled when you consider how every individual perceives those traits differently.

This is totally just my own opinion and not a description of what the functions do, but how they "feel" to me btw so this is all super subjective:

Ne: Childlike, playful, elastic, innocent

Fe: Flexible, considerate, nurturing

Se: Alert, quick, rough, adaptable

Te: Assertive, powerful, rigid, blunt

Ni: Heavy, direct, shadowy, withdrawn

Fi: Reactive, compassionate, intimate, fiery

Si: Earthy, absorbent, grounded

Ti: Sharp, probing, detached

IMO: Ne and Fe are decidedly feminine, Ni and Fi are neutral-leaning-feminine, Si and Se are neutral-leaning-masculine, and Te and Ti the most masculine. Looking at this, I guess I perceive T/S as masculine, and N/F as feminine, which I think is pretty common, according to some foggy memories of reading about type and gender.

So I suppose your most masculine would be your STPs, STJ, and NTJs. Your most feminine, probably your NFJs, NFPs, and SFJs.

I think that's why I perceive ENTPs and INTPs as more feminine than their STP counterparts, and NTJs as slightly more feminine than STJs (though neither feminine as a whole). INTPs seem to operate in a masculine underlying manner with feminine mannerisms/appearance imo. ENTPs strike me as more feminine.

I really like gender and perception so this is fun for me to think about.


Women Outnumber Men in Mental Health Profession

A recent article discusses the reasons why male mental health professionals are few and far between. The feminization of the mental health field has been examined for decades. Currently, men represent only twenty percent of psychology degrees earned today, down by 50 percent from only four decades ago. Young male social workers are barely visible, and they account for only 10 percent of all professional counselors practicing. Membership rolls from the American Counseling Association suggest that even the marriage and family counseling landscape is lacking male professionals. The mental health field believes that this trend could cause many men to avoid seeking help when they need it.

“There’s a way in which a guy grows up that he knows some things that women don’t know, and vice versa,” said David Moultrup, a psychotherapist in Belmont, Mass. “But that male viewpoint has been so devalued in the course of empowering little girls for the past 40 or 50 years that it is now all but lost in talk therapy. Society needs to have the choice, and the choice is being taken away.”

The shift is due to cultural and economic influences. Over the past two decades, managed care has decreased incomes drastically. And even psychiatry, which is still male dominated, has resorted to pharmacological treatments. “Usually women get blamed when a profession loses status, but in this case the trend started first, and men just evacuated,” said Dorothy Cantor, a former president of American Psychological Association who conducted a landmark study of gender and psychology in 1995. “Women moved up into the field and took their place.”

© Copyright 2011 by By John Smith, therapist in Bellingham, Washington. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org.

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

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Mary Losey

Another reason might be the historically low pay that mental health professionals get. In my home state (FL) grade school teachers with a bachelors make more than an MA level mental health counselor working at a non profit center. Both fields deserve more pay and both are female dominated.

Lydia K.

“…But that male viewpoint has been so devalued in the course of empowering little girls for the past 40 or 50 years that it is now all but lost in talk therapy. ”

Wow! Little girls are we? Careful you don’t show your chavinistic side there, sir. You sound like you really grudge that empowerment rather than seeing it as only fair that both sexes have equal opportunities in life and work.

he was literally talking about children.

it could be seen as both a good thing and a bad thing. good because it is unlike other professions that are male dominated and bad because it can really lead to a prejudiced view in marriage therapy.

Hampshire

The document clearly proves the clear win by the women over men in mental health profession. Pay structure is a concern though and it should be improved anyway to encourage more professional.

Runninfast

But am I not correct in saying that more women are pursuing college than men are these days? And maybe this is a more natural fit for females then men. As a whole women seem more caring than men. I know that is not always the truth but I think that society in general would state that this is a notion about women that many of us have. Raising awareness about this could get more men into the field, just like with teaching, but I also think that a little more respect is going to have to be doled out to the profession in general to entice many new college grads down this career path.

Helenwelsh

I think it’s because women are naturally more empathic than men are. Everyone knows this, everyone accepts it, and there is evidence to back it up.

If women are naturally able to do the job well, then I really don’t see what the issue is.

Mr. Moultrop sounds like he feels threatened by the increase in female psychologists and counselors now. The old boy’s network must be crumbling before his eyes.

Brandon RA

I would think having more women than men in a profession would be something to cheer about.But a lot of people here point to the pay scale differences and I am disappointed to learn of it.

Is it true anyway? As for me,I think there are more women in this field because they generally prefer this profession more than men and are even better at handling things like these.I also believer at women are mentally more stronger than men in general.

Suzanne Gibbs

@kel: No matter what the gender divide is, there will always be a few amongst any group of professionals or workers that are biased in favor of their gender. That’s because of their nature, not their job.

These types of individuals would do so in other situations apart from just work. You’ll always run across them in life.

That’s just how it goes, and you can’t do anything about that. It won’t change until they do and there’s none so blind as those who will not see.

Reece Small

@Lydia K: There is some truth to his statement. In the quest to get women ahead, society has let men fall behind severely in many ways.

The rise of the feminist movement did help, but never did bring about equality. All it did was invert the scales instead of balancing it out.

But the second anyone tries to empower men, they get shouted down. Why?

Sadie Wilson

@Reece Small — You ask why? Because men have had it too good for too long! Women have had to fight for every right they have today, both over their bodies and their careers. Men had those same rights handed to them on a plate.

Don’t think that glass ceilings don’t exist anymore because they do. Salary imbalances between the sexes continue to be an issue so excuse me if I don’t shed a tear if men think we’re getting too big for our boots and oppressing them now! That’s a laugh.

The truth is they can’t stand the competition, that’s all. It kills them to think there are women out there who are smarter and better at their job than they are.

I know that from my own personal experience a couple of years ago when I needed a therapist to get my life back to some semblance of sanity I looked for a male therapist in my town and the options were not overwhelming. I wanted a man because I felt like he would be better able to relate to my issues than a female. But I eventually had to end up driving an hour to find one because there just was not one where I lived. The relationship worked out great and making the drive was for the ebst but still it would have been nice to have more choices that I felt comfortable with.

Celeste Bloom

Excuse me as I wear the mantle of devil’s advocate here. If I was a man I too would prefer to talk to a man. It’s the same as me preferring a female gynecologist. If I had to see a male one, I wouldn’t go as regularly as I do.

I’m more comfortable talking to my own sex about intimate, personal issues- both psychological and physical.

I don’t see why it would be any different for a man. Male counselors should be accessible to them. It’s only fair.

Cassie V.

If there’s a need there for more males in the counseling profession, then that need should be addressed.

Plenty of businesses and the military visit schools to encourage youngsters to go into their field when they are on the verge of making career decisions and deciding what university or college to attend and course to take.

Why can’t the organizations that support and train psychologists and therapists do the same? Raising awareness would help, as would a salary increase.


Here’s How You Experience Time, Based On Your Personality Type

Did you know that each personality type experiences time in a slightly different way? Some types are more likely to revisit the past while others are more likely to stay tuned into the present or future. Knowing how each individual experiences and manages time can help you to avoid conflicts. Many times fights and arguments erupt because two people are using time in a different way or focusing on a different place in time. Read along to find out more!

Not sure what your personality type is? Take our new personality questionnaire here. Or you can take the official MBTI® here.

ENFPs, ENTPs and Time

ENFPs and ENTPs use a mental process called Extraverted Intuition, or “Ne” for short. Extraverted intuitives have a very broad time focus. They are often stimulated by what’s happening in the present, but instead of thinking of immediate experiences and details they think of future potential. For example, they might see a forest and think “What would happen if the forest didn’t exist?”, or “What if I built a theme park full of treehouses that are all connected?”. ENPs look for connections in the past and future to generate possibilities and new innovations.

As perceiving types, ENFPs and ENTPs tend to be adaptable about time. They like to stay open to new changes, possibilities, and creative insights. They don’t like to hurry up with a project and get it done quickly they are more stimulated by the creative process than they are with closure and completion. Distractions, side-trails, and interruptions, therefore, aren’t as disruptive to them as they are to judging types.

As feeling types, ENFPs prefer to spend their time finding their purpose, meaning, or significance. Many ENFPs enjoy spending time on personal growth or understanding their own psychology or the psychological makeup of other people. Impersonal tasks and routine procedures are usually dull to them and they can find themselves looking for more meaningful distractions. This is why ENFPs are best suited for jobs that coincide with their personal values. They can be highly motivated, productive, and goal-oriented if they believe in what they’re doing on a personal level.

As thinking types, ENTPs see their time as part of a bigger system. They view it as a tool to accomplish things and they see it as less personal than the ENFP does. They look at how they can improve or re-work systems, how they can understand a concept more fully, or how they can innovate and bring about progress in the world. They can be interested in personal growth, but they can also be motivated about a project simply because they are curious about the experimentation itself. For the ENTP, the goal doesn’t need to align with a personal value for them. They are more motivated when they can experiment, innovate, and change things up to see what happens.

INFPs, INTPs and Time

INFPs and INTPs also use Extraverted Intuition (“Ne”). This means that they also have a broad time focus. They experience something in the present and generate future possibilities as well as past connections. They tend to “jump around” in time from present to past to future or in the opposite direction.

Unlike ENPs, INPs focus less on gathering outer-world information than they do on the inner world of analysis. They can appear very open-minded and adaptable to other people, but inside they often have a firm set of values or principles that they judge everything by. They tend to be more reflective and inwardly-decisive than ENP types tend to be. They filter all the possibilities they generate through a lens of “does this align with my values or challenge them?” (INFP), or “does this fit with my logical framework or challenge it?” (INTP).

As perceiving types, INFPs and INTPs tend to be adaptable and flexible with time. The process of analysis and idea-generation is usually more interesting to them than having closure or completion on a project. If something is especially interesting or meaningful, they don’t mind being interrupted or delaying a project they are currently working on. In fact, they are often excited by this prospect!

As feeling types, INFPs prefer to spend their time finding their purpose, meaning, or significance. They are often drawn to writing, psychology, or personal growth. Impersonal tasks and routine procedures are usually dull to them and they can find themselves looking for more meaningful distractions. This is why INFPs are best suited for jobs that coincide with their personal values. They can be highly motivated and productive if they believe that what they are doing is meaningful on a personal level.

As thinking types, INTPs see their time as part of a bigger system. They look at how they can improve or re-work systems, how they can understand a concept more deeply, or how they can innovate and bring about progress in the world. While personal growth may be a focus of theirs, they tend to be curious for curiosity’s sake. They want to experiment with causes and effects and find accuracy and truth more than subjective meaning or emotional depth. For the INTP, the goal doesn’t need to align with a personal value for them. They are more motivated when they can experiment, innovate, and find new logical truths.

INFJs, INTJs and Time

INFJs and INTJs use a mental process called Introverted Intuition, or “Ni” for short. This process gives them an intense focus on the distant future. INJs are nearly always focusing on broad, long-term effects and implications. Even in school when they write essays, many of their essays are projected into far-distant future realities. They make abstract leaps in time to envision how patterns and events will play out in 20-50-100 years or more. Sometimes they run the risk of spending so much time in the future that they lose track of what’s happening in the present moment.

Although INJs are categorized as judging types by the Myers-Briggs system, they actually tend to have a lot in common with perceiving types. This is because their dominant mental process is a perceiving function (intuition) rather than a judging function (thinking or feeling). In their outer world, they enjoy having closure and order. If they are in a situation where nobody can make a decision, they tend to feel a responsibility to decide and move forward. They tend to appear more decisive, structured and organized about time than they really feel. On the inside, they are actually less eager to come to closure on an idea and enjoy toying with many different perspectives and angles. Their inner world can handle a bit of chaos but they like their outer world more organized and focused. INTJs and INFJs both tend to be “work first, play later” types.

As feeling types, INFJs will tailor their time around the needs of people. They might spend three hours listening to someone’s troubles and interpersonal issues and not feel bad about it even if it means they have to cram to complete a project later. They are sensitive to other people and their time and believe that time is useful for finding their purpose, significance, and meaning. They tend to prioritize personal growth and will spend a lot of time figuring out their psychology or the psychology of other individuals. They can procrastinate about situations that require them to give criticism or handle conflict.

As thinking types, INTJs see time as conceptual and impersonal. They view it as a tool with which they can accomplish goals or reach a logical understanding of how the world works. They usually organize their time based on priorities and will be more frustrated if personal demands get in the way of their goals or visions. They tend to prioritize information-gathering and achievement and enjoy having a lot of time alone to contemplate and reflect. They can procrastinate about working on their relationships or inter-personal issues.

ENFJs, ENTJs and Time

ENFJs and ENTJs view time as a resource to be used. Because these two types use Introverted Intuition (“Ni”) as an auxiliary mental process they tend to focus on the distant future a great deal. However, as extraverts, they are more action-oriented about their time than INJ types tend to be. They think about how they can “use up” time, put it to its best possible use, and how they can arrange it to influence the future.

As judging types, ENJs like having an established schedule and they usually keep an eye on how much “free time” or “work time” they have. They like having closure, making decisions, and leaving things settled. Ambiguity can be difficult for them to live with – they want to know where they stand and how much time they need to complete a project or reach a goal. ENJs will have their eye on the clock more than perceiving types, or even IJ types, will. They tend to have to-do lists and they also desire control over their schedule. They are “work first, play later” types and they can procrastinate about making time for play or leisure.

As feeling types, ENFJs believe that time is to be used in service of personal or inter-personal goals. They tend to arrange their time around the needs and requirements of people. They can spend a great deal of time listening to someone’s struggles and not feel bad about it, even if it means they have to rush to get some of their other tasks done on time. They give people and personal needs the highest priority and are very sensitive to other people and their time. They believe time should be spent in finding life’s purpose or helping other people to find theirs. They tend to feel guilty saying no to the needs of other people and can neglect their own priorities.

As thinking types, ENTJs believe that time is impersonal and should be used as a way to reach goals and effect change. They are usually extremely productive with time and time-conscious. They hate “wasting” time although they may have spurts of “playing hard” after they’ve worked for a considerably long period. They see time as conceptual and also a tool. They may become so focused on achievement and goal-accomplishment that they bypass the needs of people or even their own physical needs in pursuit of their vision. ENTJs are one of the most time-conscious personality types.

ISFPs, ISTPs and Time

ISFPs and ISTPs are flexible and open-minded about how they use time. These two personality types use a mental process called Extraverted Sensing (Se). Because they use this process they are extremely attentive to what is happening in the present moment. Sensing-Perceiving (SP) personality types stay tuned into what’s happening “right now” and are usually the types that act the fastest in crisis situations. They are good at on-the-spot troubleshooting and improvising.

As perceiving types, ISFPs and ISTPs are flexible and adaptable. They attempt to make the best use of each moment they are in and don’t usually mind a scheduled change. They are good at seeing and meeting immediate needs and noticing current details that other types often miss. They like to stay open to change, new opportunities, and experiences. They can struggle with procrastination, especially when they have particularly repetitive or laborious tasks in front of them.

As feeling types, ISFPs are sensitive to people and their time. They believe time should be spent in search of their passion, their dream, or their purpose. They believe time is best spent in the service of their ideals or in the service of the people they care about. This is why many ISFPs have a creative side! They enjoy expressing their values and passions through art, song, drama, and any other creative avenue. Many ISFPs also find themselves over-represented in nursing and emergency care services where they can use their on-the-spot thinking to help others.

As thinking types, ISTPs arrange their time based on the events of the day and what needs to be done. After their duties are dealt with they enjoy being alone to engage in action or analysis. Time spent in solitary recreation is often preferred over time spent socializing. Time spent reading books, playing video games, or relaxing at home is often enjoyed. If they have a particular goal personally they can be quite determined and hard-working to achieve it. If they don’t have a goal in mind they tend to enjoy recreation and quiet, relaxing activities that allow them to use both their dominant thinking and auxiliary sensing functions.

ESFPs, ESTPs and Time

ESFPs and ESTPs view time as a resource to be used in the fullest possible way. As dominant Extraverted Sensing (Se) personality types, they are extremely tuned into the present moment. They don’t believe in spending a lot of time reminiscing about the past or hypothesizing about the future. They want to experience all that can be experienced “right now”. They are intensely observant of all that’s happening around them and they seem to have a radar for opportunities, experiences, and enjoyments that could make each moment more exciting. They want to live life to the fullest and they have a strong sense of adventure.

As perceiving types, ESFPs and ESTPs are flexible and adaptable with time. They like being able to switch gears, change plans, or take in new information and opportunities. They tend to be good at multi-tasking and they enjoy mixing work with play. They can struggle with procrastination and completing tasks they find boring or repetitive.

As feeling types, ESFPs believe that time is relative and that they should arrange it based on the needs of their loved ones or their own values. They enjoy areas of personal growth, finding hands-on ways to help people out, and they enjoy playing the role of “good samaritan”. They tend to excel in career fields where they have to think quickly and help people. This is probably why many ESFPs enjoy fast-paced humanitarian or people-centric career fields like being EMT workers, surgeons, or even working in the entertainment industry.

As thinking types, ESTPs objectify time and try to organize it based on the goals and tasks they have to accomplish. They are prone to starting more laborious tasks at the last minute and “cramming” to get them done on time. They can procrastinate about working on their relationships or dealing with inter-personal conflicts because those can make them feel out of their element. They are highly motivated in fields where they can combine both action and quick, logical thinking. They tend to perform well in emergency medical fields, the military, as entrepreneurs, and even as Hollywood stuntmen/women!

ISTJs, ISFJs and Time

ISFJs and ISTJs are usually good at time management and are able to throw out priorities that seem impractical or unrealistic. These types both use a mental process called Introverted Sensing (Si) to gather information. This function tends to compare and contrast past experiences with what is happening in the present moment. As a result, ISJs usually have a fine-tuned awareness of what has worked before and how it can be implemented again. They are also good at planning, particularly making contingency plans so that their future is secure.

As judging types, ISTJs and ISFJs like to have a plan and appreciate knowing what to expect. They enjoy having their days and weeks mapped out so that they can mentally fortify themselves for whatever might be happening. They can be rigid about schedules though and can find it hard to just “relax” and let life happen as it comes to them. As introverts, ISTJs and ISFJs can sometimes get wrapped up in their own projects and forget about what’s happening in the outside world. That said, because they take their responsibilities to their families and communities very seriously they can also run the risk of letting other people invade their time too much. This can result in them getting overwhelmed and drained.

As feeling types, ISFJs see their time as a resource to be used to help others. They believe that time is relative, that it needs to be organized around other people’s needs (a family member, friend, or even a work position). They are often drawn to career fields that involve practical service to communities. In fact, ISFJs are the most common personality type among elementary-school teachers! They believe in applying themselves in a hands-on way (sensing) to the needs and emotional concerns (feeling) of others. They can procrastinate about dealing with conflict situations or giving out criticism.

As thinking types, ISTJs objectify time. They organize time based on which tasks have the highest priority. They especially take their work and community responsibilities seriously and are unlikely to back down from a commitment unless something very serious has come up. They are usually good at prioritizing, organizing tasks, and creating an efficient schedule. They sometimes procrastinate about dealing with relationships or emotional issues.

ESTJs, ESFJs and Time

ESTJs and ESFJs are both very organized and scheduled with their time. These are the people who usually jot down plans in a calendar or an organizer and have their weeks planned out in advance. They like to be prepared and they like lots of projects and activities to keep themselves busy. These two types use a process called Introverted Sensing (Si), an information-gathering function that helps them to hold onto past lessons they’ve learned so that they can implement those lessons in the present or future. They trust “tried-and-true” methods and wisdom that has stood the tests of time.

As judging types, ESTJs and ESFJs don’t like procrastinating or dealing with sudden, unexpected changes. They take their responsibilities and commitments very seriously and will rarely be wishy-washy about things they’ve said they will do. They never want to be caught at the last minute without a schedule or plan – this makes them feel incompetent or insecure. As extraverts, they feel the need to get others involved, and they often enjoy group activities and events. They can sometimes run the risk of being invasive with other people’s time.

As feeling types, ESFJs believe that time should be organized around the needs of people. They are very generous with their time and will often spend hours listening to other people and caring for them even if it means they have to “cram” to finish all their projects. They are usually gifted at organizing people, creating harmony, and boosting morale. They are good at noticing practical needs that need tending to and customizing a comfortable atmosphere for the particular people they are with. They seem to have a sixth-sense for what each individual will find comforting, soothing, or enjoyable.

As thinking types, ESTJs see time as a resource that needs to be utilized as efficiently as possible. They are extremely time-conscious and will prioritize their work responsibilities very well. They usually have to-do lists full of things that need to be done, and they’re usually good at delegating and getting people involved to achieve a goal. They are “work first, play later” people and can procrastinate about making time for leisure and play. Their time management skills, as well as their ability to think logically and effectively, plays a part in making them the highest earning Myers-Briggs® personality type.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Do you have any thoughts or insights related to this article? Let us know in the comments!

Find out more about your personality type in our eBook, Discovering You: Unlocking the Power of Personality Type.


Extroversion and Introversion in Couples

In various studies about type and relationships, there seem to be more marriages between extroverts and introverts than like couples (E/E, or I/I). However, these marriages also tend to have more problems than type-alike marriages.

Introverted and extroverted couples are often drawn together because they see something in the opposite partner that balances them out. The introvert, more reclusive, is often attracted to the energy and gregariousness of the extrovert. They don’t have to work as hard to get conversation going and they feel attracted to the characteristics that stand in contrast to their own. The extrovert, in turn, can find the introverts quiet, reflective nature comforting or mysterious. The only problem is that after the initial sparks have died down, these differences can start to create discord or frustration. The introverted spouse may feel depleted by the extroverted spouse. The extroverted spouse may feel ignored by the introverted spouse.

According to Carl Jung, extroverted individuals need to “process and interact with others to communicate their feelings and/or ideas. Introverts have to reflect, to process and sort out internally” If either of these processes is dismissed then naturally the partner who is being dismissed will feel resentment and bitterness with their partner.

Tips for E/I Blended Couples:

If you’re in an introvert/ extrovert relationship, here are some tips to keep you from running into problems:

  • Recognize each other’s needs. Extroverts need to process externally. Introverts need to process alone most of the time. As much as possible, try not to “force” your own way onto your partner.
  • Introverted partners who can get a brief period of alone time after coming home from work are able to respond much better to personal interaction afterwards.
  • Introverts, remember that extroverts need personal connection and outward processing more frequently. Not allowing them to do this can make them feel excluded and repressed. Give them time each day to express their needs, feelings, thoughts, and decisions out loud.
  • Extroverts, realize that introverts need time alone to process information before talking things over. Allow them some quiet time to reflect before expecting an immediate reaction to something. If you push for an immediate reaction, you both might regret it later.

Benefits for E/I Blended Couples:

  • Extroverts can help introverts to experience more of the outside world and what it has to offer.
  • Introverts can help extroverts to slow down and reflect before taking an action.
  • Extroverts can help introduce introverts to a variety of friends they might not otherwise have met.
  • Introverts can help remind extroverts to tend to their own individual needs.

Sensing and Intuition in Couples

Typically, Sensing-Sensing couples tend to get along very well. Based on a 1981 study in the Journal for Psychological Type, Sensing-Sensing couples reported less problems in their marriages than Intuitive-Sensing or Intuitive-Intuitive relationships. Intuitive-Intuitive relationships reported the most problems of all the combinations. According to Ruth G. Sherman who conducted the study, “One factor that may contribute to these results may be a reflection of a sensing type’s sense of humor on the difficulties that are bound to occur when two people live together. A sense of humor can keep minor irritations from becoming major obstacles. Another contributing factor may be that intuitives experience a higher level of expectation than sensing types do. Sensing types tend to be practical, realistic, and matter-of-fact, whereas intuitives tend to be more idealistic and imaginative, and to focus on the satisfactions the future will bring. Imagination and idealism can create unrealistic fantasies that no mate could possibly satisfy, and unmet expectation results in disappointment and dissatisfaction.” Sherman also hypothesized that because intuitives tend to dislike nitty-gritty detail work and chores, two intuitive partners together might find themselves resenting whichever partner avoids the bulk of that kind of work.

All this taken into consideration, your personality type certainly doesn’t dictate how happy you’ll be in a relationship. These are just some stumbling blocks to look out for on your relationship journey.

Problems occur in sensing-intuitive relationships when the two partners see a situation from completely different perspectives. Intuitive types look for implications, underlying meanings, and connections. Sensing partners look at what is provable, real, and tangible. Intuitive partners can inadvertently make sensing types feel unimaginative and dull, even if they are not. Sensing partners can make intuitive partners feel impractical and inattentive, even when they are not. The truth is, intuitives are attentive to different things than sensing types are. Sensing types are not dull or uncreative, they simply prefer to work with tangible objects and draw from experience rather than an idealistic image in their mind.

Couples in sensing/intuitive relationships tend to disagree about which information is relevant in a decision. Intuitives tend to make “leaps” based on abstract connections, whereas sensing types will want more tangible data. Intuitives also tend to project into the future more than sensing types, who prefer to stay grounded in the present. An intuitive may spend hours daydreaming about what could happen someday, while a sensor tries to pull them back towards what’s happening now. The intuitive, in contrast, may try to pull the sensor towards the future and away from the now as much as possible.

Understanding the differences between sensing and intuition can help couples to avoid misunderstandings and arguments. I wrote an article about sensing/intuitive blended relationships here that can be helpful in this regard.

Tips for S/N Blended Couples:

  • Go out of your way to appreciate each other’s strengths. Compliment each other. Intuitives, praise your sensing partner’s observance to detail and realistic perspectives. Sensors, praise your intuitive partner’s insight and imagination.
  • Avoid “superior” thinking. When you find yourself looking down on your partner because they missed something that seemed obvious to you, avoid rubbing their face in it. Remind yourself of that they are wired to notice different information than you are.
  • Sensors, remember that intuitives tend to forget specifics and details more quickly than you do. Their minds are programmed to notice connections, possibilities, and implications much more than details, facts, and specifics.
  • Intuitives, remember that sensors tend to struggle with noticing abstract connections and implications and are more conscious of specifics, details, and experiences.

Benefits of a Sensing/Intuitive Blended Relationship:

  • Sensors can help intuitives to stay more grounded in reality and the present moment.
  • Sensors can help intuitives to see the realities of the current situation.
  • Sensors can quickly apply real-world experience to a problem.
  • Intuitives can bring up unusual possibilities and solutions that the sensor might miss.
  • Intuitives can realize future trends and implications that should be taken into consideration.
  • Intuitives can focus on long-term goals and use their insight to circumvent potential obstacles.

Thinking and Feeling in Couples

Thinking and feeling blended couples experience many positives. They can balance each other out and make wiser decisions if they work to understand and respect each other’s preferences. However, there tend to be struggles in these relationships because of disagreements in decisions.

Based on a 1981 study of 160 couples, men living with thinking women reported fewer problems in almost all areas and women living with feeling men reported fewer problems for eight of twelve problem-areas. This may have to do with the fact that a larger percentage of thinking males (roughly 55-67% of the US population) exist. Women are predominated by feeling types as well, with 65-76% of the US population composed of feeling women. Because of this, feeling women with feeling men and thinking men with thinking women are likely to find more consensus on decisions.

When a couple differs on Thinking and Feeling, they can have major disagreements on decisions. The thinking partner will value an objective approach considering pros and cons, logic, facts, truth. The feeling partner will value a people-oriented approach considering personal implications, ethics, and values. Thinking partners can find feeling types overly-sensitive or illogical, whereas feeling types can view thinking types as uncaring, callous, or hyper-critical.

Tips for T/F Blended Couples:

  • Thinking types should show appreciation before giving criticism. This will help the criticism not to sting as harshly.
  • Thinking types, refrain from giving criticism too freely. Pause and reflect on whether the criticism actually matters and is necessary.
  • Feeling types, try to express your desires and wishes directly. Don’t assume your partner will automatically know what you need or want.
  • Feeling types, recognize which critical comments are coming from a place of impersonal observation and which are meant to be hurtful. Realize that just as it’s natural for you to express your feelings or values, it’s natural for thinking types to point out things that strike them as illogical or inefficient.

Benefits of a Thinking/Feeling Blended Relationship:

  • Feeling types can help thinking types to predict how others will react or feel.
  • Feeling types can help thinking types to realize when compromise is necessary.
  • Feeling types can organize people and tasks to work harmoniously.
  • Feeling types can provide exceptional warmth and appreciation in the relationship.
  • Thinking types can help feeling types to analyze the logical consequences of a decision.
  • Thinking types can help feeling types to stand firm for their principles and policies.
  • Thinking types can help feeling types to devise rational systems.
  • Thinking types can help feeling types to cut through the emotional implications and see the objective truth of a situation.

Judging and Perceiving Couples

Having a plan and a sense of order is very important to Judging types, whereas spontaneity and freedom are very important to Perceiving types. These preferences can create tension in relationships between Judging and Perceiving partners. Alternatively, Judger-Judger relationships can become too rigid in their routine or plan, and Perceiver-Perceiver relationships can encounter problems when both partners procrastinate too freely.

Based on a 1981 study of 160 couples, Perceiving mates of Judging individuals reported more problems than average, regardless of which partner was male or female. This had to do with the fact that Judging individuals tended to organize their world and seek closure which made Perceiving types feel controlled or pushed into decisions before they were ready. The study stated that this was particularly a problem for NPs, who expressed the strongest need for freedom. Perceivers may resent Judging partners or Judging partners can become bitter towards perceiving partners who are reluctant to stick to a plan. According to various studies, two Judging individuals in a relationship appear to be more satisfied in their relationships, and two Perceiving individuals show more satisfaction as well. That said, there are many happy J/P blended couples in the world, and mixing the two preferences can create more balance in a relationship.

Tips for J/P Blended Couples:

  • Learn about each other’s personality types and try to respect each other’s needs. Judgers should try to be more patient with the Perceiver’s need for alternatives and options. Perceivers should try to be more conscious of the stress it causes Judgers to have things left undecided. It’s important for both partners to work on this together. If only one partner is doing their part then this can lead to resentment and frustration.
  • Judgers, realize that Perceivers will need more time to explore their options before making a decision. Try not to expect a spur-of-the-moment answer to a serious question.
  • Perceivers, realize that Judgers will feel overwhelmed when there isn’t a structure to their day or a clear plan for their future. Try not to leave everything undecided for too long. Try to let them know ahead of time what to expect.
  • Judgers, realize that Perceivers like to mix work with play and sprint to finish a project at the end.
  • Perceivers, realize that Judgers like to do all their work before they play. They can’t relax when projects are left unfinished.

Benefits of a Perceiving/Judging Blended Relationship:

  • Judgers can help Perceivers to outline the details of their plan.
  • Perceivers can help Judgers to see creative angles and possibilities that would have been missed in a rush to complete something.
  • Judgers can help Perceivers to come to a decision when they are overwhelmed by alternatives.
  • Perceivers can help Judgers to relax and focus on the possibilities in the present moment.

What Are Your Thoughts?

Did you enjoy this article? Do you have any thoughts or insights to share? Let us know in the comments!

Other Articles You Might Enjoy:

Sources:

The MBTI® Manual – Third Edition. Pages 240-245

Just Your Type: Create the Relationship You’ve Always Wanted Using the Secrets of Personality Type


Why Women, but Not Men, Are Judged for a Messy House

They’re still held to a higher social standard, which explains why they’re doing so much housework, studies show.

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Even in 2019, messy men are given a pass and messy women are unforgiven. Three recently published studies confirm what many women instinctively know: Housework is still considered women’s work — especially for women who are living with men.

Women do more of such work when they live with men than when they live alone, one of the studies found. Even though men spend more time on domestic tasks than men of previous generations, they’re typically not doing traditionally feminine chores like cooking and cleaning, another showed. The third study pointed to a reason: Socially, women — but not men — are judged negatively for having a messy house and undone housework.

It’s an example of how social mores, whether or not an individual believes in them, influence behavior, the social scientists who did the research say. And when it comes to gender, expectations about housework have been among the slowest to change.

“Everyone knows what the stereotype or expectations might be, so even if they don’t endorse them personally, it will still affect their behavior,” even if they say they have progressive views about gender roles, said Sarah Thébaud, a sociologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and an author of one of the papers.

The additional time that women spend on unpaid household labor is a root of gender inequality — it influences how men and women relate at home, and how much time women spend on paid work.

On average, women spend 2.3 hours a day on house tasks, and men spend 1.4 hours, according to Department of Labor data. Even when men say they split housework evenly, the data shows they do not. (Women do more of these kinds of chores in the office, too.)

One of the recent studies, in the journal Demography, analyzed American Time Use Survey data and found that mothers married to men did more housework than single mothers, slept less and had less leisure time.

“One possibility is what people believe is expected of them to be a good wife and partner is still really strong, and you’re held to those standards when you’re living with someone,” said Joanna Pepin, a sociologist at the University of Maryland, who wrote the paper with Liana Sayer, a colleague at Maryland, and Lynne Casper from the University of Southern California.

Other possibilities, Ms. Pepin said, were that men created more housework single mothers were more tired or children did more chores when they lived with a single mother.

Women tend to do more indoor chores, research shows, like cleaning and cooking, most of which occur daily. Men do more outdoor chores, like lawn mowing or car washing, which happen less often.

Another recent study, in the journal Gender & Society, looked at people in opposite-sex marriages and found that even though men who live in cities spend less time on outdoor chores than suburban or rural men, they don’t spend any additional time on other kinds of chores. Women spend the same amount of time on chores regardless of where they live.

The pattern demonstrates how much housework is considered women’s work, said the researchers, Natasha Quadlin at Ohio State University and Long Doan at the University of Maryland, who used data from the American Time Use Survey and the Current Population Survey.

One way to be masculine is to do typically male chores, they concluded — and another way is to refuse to do typically female ones.

These studies relied on survey data to show what people do. A study published last month in Sociological Methods & Research tried to explain why women do more housework. The researchers conducted an experiment to uncover the beliefs that drive people’s behavior.

They showed 624 people a photo of a messy living room and kitchen — dishes on the counters, a cluttered coffee table, blankets strewn about — or the clean version of the same space. ( They used MTurk, a survey platform popular with social scientists the participants were slightly more educated and more likely to be white and liberal than the population at large.)

The results debunked the age-old excuse that women have an innately lower tolerance for messiness. Men notice the dust and piles. They just aren’t held to the same social standards for cleanliness, the study found.

When participants were told that a woman occupied the clean room, it was judged as less clean than when a man occupied it, and she was thought to be less likely to be viewed positively by visitors and less comfortable with visitors.

Both men and women were penalized for having a messy room. When respondents were told it was occupied by a man, they said that it was in more urgent need of cleaning and that the men were less responsible and hardworking than messy women. The mess seemed to play into a stereotype of men as lazy slobs, the researchers said.

But there was a key difference: Unlike for women, participants said messy men were not likely to be judged by visitors or feel uncomfortable having visitors over.

“It may activate negative stereotypes about men if they’re messy, but it’s inconsequential because there’s no expected social consequence to that,” said Ms. Thébaud, who did the study with the sociologists Sabino Kornrich of Emory and Leah Ruppanner of the University of Melbourne. “It’s that ‘boys will be boys’ thing.”

Most of the time, respondents said a woman would be responsible for cleaning the room — especially if the occupants were in a heterosexual marriage and both were working full time.

“The ways it gets reinforced are so subtle,” said Darcy Lockman, the author of a new book about the unequal division of labor, “All the Rage,” and a clinical psychologist. “ ‘I should relieve my husband of burdens’ — it’s so automatic.”

Social scientists have been observing these pressures for decades. In 1989, the sociologist Arlie Russell Hochschild wrote “The Second Shift,” documenting how even in dual-career couples, women did significantly more housework and child care than men. In 1998, the sociologist Barbara Risman described in the book “Gender Vertigo” how people feel pressure from members of both genders to perform certain roles.

Since then, men’s and women’s roles have changed in many parts of life — but not regarding housekeeping. In a study last year, Ms. Risman showed that Americans are now more likely to value gender equality at work than at home.

Bigger forces shape these beliefs. Employers increasingly demand employees to be on call at work, for example, which can end up forcing one parent (usually the mother) to step back from work to be on call at home. This happens for same-sex couples, too, showing that it’s not just about gender — it’s also about the way paid work is set up.

Policies that encourage men to take on more responsibility at home — like use-it-or-lose-it paternity leave in Canada and Scandinavian countries — could increase their involvement, evidence suggests.

The stereotypes start with what boys are taught. Research has found that when mothers work for pay and fathers do household chores, their sons become adults who spend more time on housework.

So far, what we know about the next generation is that girls are doing less housework. But boys aren’t doing that much more.


Watch the video: What Exactly The Myers Briggs Personality Types - Which One Are You? MBTI Personality Types. Part2 (June 2022).


Comments:

  1. Arlys

    I am finite, I apologize, but it does not come close to me. Can the variants still exist?

  2. Henrick

    About this it cannot be and he speaks.

  3. Tadal

    Now I cannot take part in the discussion - there is no free time. I will be free - I will definitely express my opinion.

  4. Dryden

    you said that correctly :)



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